In what appears to have been a fit of idiocy, I registered yesterday for the 2008 Spinx Runfest Half Marathon. It will be held on Saturday, October 25th. Of course, I am exagerrating a bit on the "idiocy" part. Suffice to say, there is a lot of work to be done between now and then.
My food consumption of late has been of questionable quality and thanks to this nagging right hamstring injury, I have not really been able to run as consistently as I would like. Right now, it is more along the lines of 3-4 days per week.
Ultimately, the goal right now is to get to July pain-free and with some kind of consistent mileage base (15 miles, perhaps) before really ramping up the training. I am leaning towards time-based training as compared to mileage-based. I think it will be easier for me to track and, let's face it, with my Type A personality, simplifying things may not be such a bad idea.
So, that's it. I am all registered and ready to go. I feel somewhat confident in being able to finish, but it will be getting to the starting line healthy which will prove to be the first mahor obstacle.
I will continue to post updates on a weekly basis as my way of "checking in". Feel free to post you comments along the way.
Be well!
22 May 2008
12 May 2008
Recap: 7th Annual Safe Harbor Run
In honor of Mother's Day, Safe Harbor held their 7th Annual Harbor Run (on Saturday, May 10, 2008). The 8k run started and finished at Fluor Field, the home of the Greenville Drive. The route included downtown Greenville and Cleveland Park. Vicky Echeverria was the overall female winner while Orinthal Striggles took the top honors for the men followed by Tim Briles (top picture). Safe Harbor states the run is "The Upstates Race Against Domestic Violence".
The race director, Sheila McCullough (bottom picture), owner of Fleet Feet Sports in Greenville, spent countless hours coordinating with her staff and a dedicated group of volunteers to make this event fantastic for everyone involved. The course route, slightly adjusted from years past, offered a great balance of rolling hills and scenic views of downtown Greenville on this beautiful Saturday morning. Many thanks go out to all who were involved including all of the sponsors, volunteers, participants, and spectators.
Note: Portions this post (italicized) and photographs were taken from The Greenville News and full credit is given to the paper and its staff.
Progress Report: May 12, 2008
Slow and steady wins the race, so they say... I have been repeating that sentiment over and over again lately. I am down a little more to 232.2, so the progress is still there. I could not be happier. I know that the key is making better decisions more often than not. Easier said than done. But it really is true. In times like this when it is all about trying to be as consistent as possible, the minor victories turn into major ones.
I could not be happier with the snail's pace I am on...
Be well.
I could not be happier with the snail's pace I am on...
Be well.
29 April 2008
Progress Report: April 29, 2008
I figured it had been long enough since I have last visited the scale. Down slightly to 235.2. I am thrilled with that. Sure, it is a slow process - as it should be. This is for all intent and purposes a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have not been able to run very much within the past couple of weeks thanks to this nagging hamstring injury and I do not think I will for at least another week or two. So it is resistance training and stationary biking for me.
No date-specific deadlines for me. No high-end rewards waiting for me at the end (at this point). Right now it is all about simply doing what I know needs to be done. Period.
If only it were always that simple.
Be well.
I have not been able to run very much within the past couple of weeks thanks to this nagging hamstring injury and I do not think I will for at least another week or two. So it is resistance training and stationary biking for me.
No date-specific deadlines for me. No high-end rewards waiting for me at the end (at this point). Right now it is all about simply doing what I know needs to be done. Period.
If only it were always that simple.
Be well.
28 April 2008
Heed the call...
When did you first contemplate taking that initial step? How much time has passed? How many times have we put it on the back burner?
For me, it was the better part of 32 years. Thirty-two years. That is an incredibly long time to ignore oneself, but that is exactly what I did. That first step on my journey - my self-care plan, if you will - was one of the more difficult things I have ever done in my life. I was a life long obese child, adolescent, and adult who ballooned to 340 pounds. I was, for all intent and purposes, a statue. I could not walk very much due to back pain and and neurological issues that went along with it. Essentially, merely existing was a problem for me. I rarely if ever left the friendly confines of my own abode. Why? It took far too much effort. I was frustrated, angry, and depressed.
Sure, there were some out there who "tried" to get me on the path. One doctor told me to "push away from the table a little sooner", another prescribed weight loss pills that were not even approved by the F.D.A., and yet another said the key was common sense. While the latter advice was not exactly inaccurate, it was clear that I had none of that.
I kept making assurances to myself that the next day would be different. I would really do it this time - starting Monday. Heaven knows, I could never start a self-reclamation project on the weekend! Those were the days for me to be "normal". Unfortunately for me, "normal" days included far too much indulgence and too little common sense when it came to my own self-care. I am no genius, that I will freely admit. But how ignorant I was to listen to all of my own excuses and justifications for simply not taking care of myself.
Then suddenly, one day, it clicked. I cannot tell you what day it was and I am not sure that it matters. It was not an epiphany really or even a traumatic event. It was just an ordinary day when I could swear I heard the starting gun go off in my head, heart, and soul. That was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Normally, a fresh start on a self-care plan for me included swift and assured failure. But this time was seemingly very different. I resigned myself to accepting the fact that every day would be a learning experience. If I would fall, I would pick myself back up, dust myself off, and learn from it. If I make a bad food choice, or miss a chance to exercise, or do not get enough rest, I would not beat myself up over it. Rather I would do the best I could going forward.
Remember folks, we were given eyes in the front of our heads and not in the back, so we can see where we are going. Not where we have been.
Far too many people think that health and wellness is difficult. Nothing could be further from the truth. It all starts with making one small change whether it is watching what you eat a little more closely, eating cleaner (i.e. fruits and vegetables, foods that are not processed or processed as little as possible), getting a little more active, or something. ANYTHING! It is not about being perfect, all of the time. No one can do that. Rather it is about being better more often than not. To win the war of self-preservation, with your trusty self-care plan by your side, you merely need to win more battles than you lose. Obviously, the more battles you win, the better you are in the long run. Once you take that first step, you are already a winner for having started caring for yourself again and, for some of us, for the first time.
Listen for the starting gun. Do not let 30-plus years get by you before you hear that gun go off in your head, heart, and soul. Listen for that call. Take it, and go with it. Your body wants to be active and healthy, by its very nature. We are the only ones who are keeping that from happening!
Take that first step. While it may not seem like much on the surface, it is the first step of this never-ending journey of ours that will be the most rewarding and memorable for the rest of your life.
Be well.
For me, it was the better part of 32 years. Thirty-two years. That is an incredibly long time to ignore oneself, but that is exactly what I did. That first step on my journey - my self-care plan, if you will - was one of the more difficult things I have ever done in my life. I was a life long obese child, adolescent, and adult who ballooned to 340 pounds. I was, for all intent and purposes, a statue. I could not walk very much due to back pain and and neurological issues that went along with it. Essentially, merely existing was a problem for me. I rarely if ever left the friendly confines of my own abode. Why? It took far too much effort. I was frustrated, angry, and depressed.
Sure, there were some out there who "tried" to get me on the path. One doctor told me to "push away from the table a little sooner", another prescribed weight loss pills that were not even approved by the F.D.A., and yet another said the key was common sense. While the latter advice was not exactly inaccurate, it was clear that I had none of that.
I kept making assurances to myself that the next day would be different. I would really do it this time - starting Monday. Heaven knows, I could never start a self-reclamation project on the weekend! Those were the days for me to be "normal". Unfortunately for me, "normal" days included far too much indulgence and too little common sense when it came to my own self-care. I am no genius, that I will freely admit. But how ignorant I was to listen to all of my own excuses and justifications for simply not taking care of myself.
Then suddenly, one day, it clicked. I cannot tell you what day it was and I am not sure that it matters. It was not an epiphany really or even a traumatic event. It was just an ordinary day when I could swear I heard the starting gun go off in my head, heart, and soul. That was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Normally, a fresh start on a self-care plan for me included swift and assured failure. But this time was seemingly very different. I resigned myself to accepting the fact that every day would be a learning experience. If I would fall, I would pick myself back up, dust myself off, and learn from it. If I make a bad food choice, or miss a chance to exercise, or do not get enough rest, I would not beat myself up over it. Rather I would do the best I could going forward.
Remember folks, we were given eyes in the front of our heads and not in the back, so we can see where we are going. Not where we have been.
Far too many people think that health and wellness is difficult. Nothing could be further from the truth. It all starts with making one small change whether it is watching what you eat a little more closely, eating cleaner (i.e. fruits and vegetables, foods that are not processed or processed as little as possible), getting a little more active, or something. ANYTHING! It is not about being perfect, all of the time. No one can do that. Rather it is about being better more often than not. To win the war of self-preservation, with your trusty self-care plan by your side, you merely need to win more battles than you lose. Obviously, the more battles you win, the better you are in the long run. Once you take that first step, you are already a winner for having started caring for yourself again and, for some of us, for the first time.
Listen for the starting gun. Do not let 30-plus years get by you before you hear that gun go off in your head, heart, and soul. Listen for that call. Take it, and go with it. Your body wants to be active and healthy, by its very nature. We are the only ones who are keeping that from happening!
Take that first step. While it may not seem like much on the surface, it is the first step of this never-ending journey of ours that will be the most rewarding and memorable for the rest of your life.
Be well.
20 April 2008
Progress Report: April 20, 2008
Well, things are moving along. I am down a little more than four (4) pounds in the past month to about 236. I could not be happier. So, to date, I have lost 104 pounds and have kept it off for over two (2) years. It still amazes me sometimes, yet other times I have to remind myself of how far I have come. It is one of those funny things.
The point of this exercise is that anyone can do it. After years of self-neglect and abuse of my body, I found my self-care plan and put it to use. It is by no means perfect. Far from it. But I am working forward. Like my late uncle always told me: "If you are not progressing, you are regressing." So true.
The point of this exercise is that anyone can do it. After years of self-neglect and abuse of my body, I found my self-care plan and put it to use. It is by no means perfect. Far from it. But I am working forward. Like my late uncle always told me: "If you are not progressing, you are regressing." So true.
14 April 2008
Health and wellness can save you money!!!
The economy these days is obviously not great. This is not a newsflash to anyone, I am sure. However it is slowly but surely getting worse in a new yet rather unexpected way. The solution? It is simple... adopt a self-care plan and re-invest in your own well being!
The cost of gas is rising. Real estate prices are falling. The job market is sketchy. The dollar is tumbling in foreign markets. All of these are, obviously, concerns for us as a society. Why would anyone want to add further expense to an already stretched budget? Well, in the future, your employer may adopt a plan where you pay more of the premiums and, possibly, more in the way of co-pays and medication costs. In some cases, a lot more.
Companies are getting to the point now where they are tired of bearing the brunt of the downfall from the sedentary lifestyles of their employees. While that may be a bit brash, it is reality. Instead of eating this cost, companies are looking to pass the buck on to you, the employee, for your health insurance premiums, doctor visits, and prescriptions.
This, my friends, is not the end. A good self-care plan can help stave off this trend, at least in your own world. Being more active, eating better, and getting enough rest are key components to a solid self-care plan. I have mentioned this term before and will undoubtedly do so again. However keeping yourself healthy can help you save on medical costs. By adopting a self-care plan, you can begin to put your body back to center, and in a much more healthier place, overall. Ultimately, this equates to fewer visits to the doctor and less of a need for certain medications.
Even more, there are some companies that will essentially compensate you (really, they allow you to save money) on your health insurance by simply adopting a self-care plan. One company in particular offers a 75% reduction in health care premiums for taking part in their wellness program, which includes attending a few meetings and seminars about health and wellness, and submitting to the occasional health screening to monitor your progress. Would anyone reading this right now turn down that kind of opportunity? I think not.
Being active is inexpensive. Invest in a good pair of walking or running shoes (including getting properly fitted for them, people), and you can exercise to your heart's content. As I once heard, "your shoes never say no - only you do". So, don't say no. Take advantage of that gym that never closes and allows you to go to so many wonder places both geographically and spiritually.
Eating cleaner is not as expensive as many would like you to believe. Sure, eating organic can cost a touch more. Managing portions, however? Therein lies the key. Portion control has been the bain of my existence for as long as I can remember. There is no way that is 4 ounces of chicken! But it is. Eating more fresh, less processed foods is a fantastic way to help clear your mind and body of many of the things that have been slowing it down over time. Reintroduce yourself to some of the fantastic local produce in your area. Eat fresh, eat seasonal, eat local. Try it and in a few weeks, you will be amazed.
Sure, being healthier overall is not the solution to all of the world's problems. However it does allow you to take control of you life - your body and mind - and at least have some say as to how things play out. Adopting a self-care plan just makes good sense. You feel and look better inside and out and, now, you may even save yourself a substantial amount of money.
A better fiscal plan you cannot find.
The cost of gas is rising. Real estate prices are falling. The job market is sketchy. The dollar is tumbling in foreign markets. All of these are, obviously, concerns for us as a society. Why would anyone want to add further expense to an already stretched budget? Well, in the future, your employer may adopt a plan where you pay more of the premiums and, possibly, more in the way of co-pays and medication costs. In some cases, a lot more.
Companies are getting to the point now where they are tired of bearing the brunt of the downfall from the sedentary lifestyles of their employees. While that may be a bit brash, it is reality. Instead of eating this cost, companies are looking to pass the buck on to you, the employee, for your health insurance premiums, doctor visits, and prescriptions.
This, my friends, is not the end. A good self-care plan can help stave off this trend, at least in your own world. Being more active, eating better, and getting enough rest are key components to a solid self-care plan. I have mentioned this term before and will undoubtedly do so again. However keeping yourself healthy can help you save on medical costs. By adopting a self-care plan, you can begin to put your body back to center, and in a much more healthier place, overall. Ultimately, this equates to fewer visits to the doctor and less of a need for certain medications.
Even more, there are some companies that will essentially compensate you (really, they allow you to save money) on your health insurance by simply adopting a self-care plan. One company in particular offers a 75% reduction in health care premiums for taking part in their wellness program, which includes attending a few meetings and seminars about health and wellness, and submitting to the occasional health screening to monitor your progress. Would anyone reading this right now turn down that kind of opportunity? I think not.
Being active is inexpensive. Invest in a good pair of walking or running shoes (including getting properly fitted for them, people), and you can exercise to your heart's content. As I once heard, "your shoes never say no - only you do". So, don't say no. Take advantage of that gym that never closes and allows you to go to so many wonder places both geographically and spiritually.
Eating cleaner is not as expensive as many would like you to believe. Sure, eating organic can cost a touch more. Managing portions, however? Therein lies the key. Portion control has been the bain of my existence for as long as I can remember. There is no way that is 4 ounces of chicken! But it is. Eating more fresh, less processed foods is a fantastic way to help clear your mind and body of many of the things that have been slowing it down over time. Reintroduce yourself to some of the fantastic local produce in your area. Eat fresh, eat seasonal, eat local. Try it and in a few weeks, you will be amazed.
Sure, being healthier overall is not the solution to all of the world's problems. However it does allow you to take control of you life - your body and mind - and at least have some say as to how things play out. Adopting a self-care plan just makes good sense. You feel and look better inside and out and, now, you may even save yourself a substantial amount of money.
A better fiscal plan you cannot find.
13 April 2008
ASICS, Fleet Feet Sports, and Furman University team up to help local children
Since our local media has seen fit to provide zero coverage for this event, I am going to take it upon myself to do so...
On Saturday, April 12, 2008, thanks to the donations of so many individuals, 125 local Greenville County children received brand new ASICS running shoes and other goodies. With their new blue shoes, the children took part in the Blue Shoe Mile, in conjunction with the track events that took place at Furman University yesterday.
The great thing about this event is that these local children are on the school lunch program as they cannot afford to buy their own lunches. It has been amazing for me personally, as well as for everyone involved in this whole event, to help our local children and to give them an opportunity to fall in love with running. I simply had to share this fantastic story of local people helping others within the community. That, folks, is that it is all about. Look for big things next year with this event!
On Saturday, April 12, 2008, thanks to the donations of so many individuals, 125 local Greenville County children received brand new ASICS running shoes and other goodies. With their new blue shoes, the children took part in the Blue Shoe Mile, in conjunction with the track events that took place at Furman University yesterday.
The great thing about this event is that these local children are on the school lunch program as they cannot afford to buy their own lunches. It has been amazing for me personally, as well as for everyone involved in this whole event, to help our local children and to give them an opportunity to fall in love with running. I simply had to share this fantastic story of local people helping others within the community. That, folks, is that it is all about. Look for big things next year with this event!
Special thanks to: Communities and Schools, Monaview Elementary, Principal, Janice Sargant with Monaview Elementary, Fleet Feet Greenville, Chris and Andrea Borch, Furman University, and ASICS.
Developing a self-care plan is as easy as 1-2-3...
I often hear from people I meet just how difficult it is to become more active, eat a little better, and in general, take better care of one's self. It really isn't. It is rather simple and, bear with me, much more inexpensive than many would like for you to believe.
A good friend of mine, a mentor in my wellness journey, used to use the term "self-care plan" often. I love the term and use it often, perhaps to a fault. A self-care plan can be many things to many people. To me, it is a balance of good nutrition, physical activity, rest, motivation, and forward planning.
I know, I know... Again, bear with me...
Taking better care of oneself is as big a win-win situation as there is. Eating well generally means eating cleaner with more fruits and vegetables. That is not to imply the notion of deprivation of all of those naughty things we may have eaten in the past. Hardly. Because the moment you get it into your mind that there are foods you cannot eat, this self-care plan - an attempt to do something positive for yourself, turns out to be a diet... and what are the first three letters in the word "diet"? D-I-E. That is what happens to most diets that include deprivation of anything... they usually die a painful death, and the person trying to make it work is left wondering what went wrong and may consider never trying again. On the flip side, a reasonable diet - "diet" meaning stable of foods we eat - including more fruits and vegetables, good amounts of fiber and enough protein and fats, all in proper portions, will allow for opportunities to consume something that may ordinarily be outside the realm of the "better" choices.
There are many free online tools that can be used to track and calculate your calories, vitamins, and nutrients consumed, in an effort to make life easier for you. I have used both Spark People and Fit Day. and both are very user friendly and intuitive.
Physical activity and rest really go hand-in-hand. Being physically active does not mean you have to go out and run a marathon, although if that is your bag, excellent. If you are just getting started with your self-care plan, any kind of physical activity is fantastic. Walking is one of the best activities out there. It is good for your joints, your bones, and most importantly your heart and mind.
Running, contrary to popular belief, is not bad for you. On the contrary, it is infectious. Some of my best thinking happens when I am out on the roads, running. It is my meditation time, my time for reflection.
Some will have you believe that walking and/or running are expensive ways to get into and stay in shape. I am here to dispel that. I challenge anyone to find me an annual gym membership that will cost as little as that of one or two pairs of properly fitted shoes. Notice, I said "properly fitted". That does not mean you can run out to your local box store and pick up any old shoes, throw them on your feet, and expect to keep your body moving and pain free. I urge you to find a store that looks at your feet, with your shoes and socks off, and look at your feet and find a shoe that is right for you. This is not at an extra cost. Stores like Fleet Feet for example simply do it as a part of their fitting process. They are not satisfied until you have the best shoe for you on your feet. And you shouldn't either. It is the best investment you can make. A good pair of walking or running shoes can last you anywhere from six to 12 months, depending on your level of activity. Not a bad investment of time and money.
Rest is equally important. It is your body's way of rebuilding itself from your activities. It is a important as any physical activity you will perform. Not much more can be said about that, but I cannot stress its importance enough.
Motivation and forward planning also go hand-in-hand. This journey of ours, this self-care plan, is a never ending process. There is no finish line, folks. With that in mind, goals are crucial to keep up your motivation. I am not saying that setting a firm weight-by-date goal is the only way to go. Find something that is important to you. Aiming for a charity walk in which you want to participate? Planning for a run, perhaps your first? Print out walk or race fliers and hang them anywhere your eyes go... it will be a constant reminder and instant motivation for you to keep your eye on the prize.
This self-care plan thing is not rocket science, by any means. It many things to many people. But there are some things it is not. It, much like us as human beings, is not nor does it have to be perfect. For many years, I beat myself up for making bad food choices or not being more active, and the like. It took me several years to figure out that if I could just make better choices seven, eight, or even nine times out of 10, I would be ahead of the game in the long run... and that is precisely what this self-care plan idea is all about. The big picture. The rest of your life. If you do not have a self-care plan in place yet, get one. They are fun, free, and may just be the key to unlocking a brand new life of wellness for you, your friends, and family.
Be well.
A good friend of mine, a mentor in my wellness journey, used to use the term "self-care plan" often. I love the term and use it often, perhaps to a fault. A self-care plan can be many things to many people. To me, it is a balance of good nutrition, physical activity, rest, motivation, and forward planning.
I know, I know... Again, bear with me...
Taking better care of oneself is as big a win-win situation as there is. Eating well generally means eating cleaner with more fruits and vegetables. That is not to imply the notion of deprivation of all of those naughty things we may have eaten in the past. Hardly. Because the moment you get it into your mind that there are foods you cannot eat, this self-care plan - an attempt to do something positive for yourself, turns out to be a diet... and what are the first three letters in the word "diet"? D-I-E. That is what happens to most diets that include deprivation of anything... they usually die a painful death, and the person trying to make it work is left wondering what went wrong and may consider never trying again. On the flip side, a reasonable diet - "diet" meaning stable of foods we eat - including more fruits and vegetables, good amounts of fiber and enough protein and fats, all in proper portions, will allow for opportunities to consume something that may ordinarily be outside the realm of the "better" choices.
There are many free online tools that can be used to track and calculate your calories, vitamins, and nutrients consumed, in an effort to make life easier for you. I have used both Spark People and Fit Day. and both are very user friendly and intuitive.
Physical activity and rest really go hand-in-hand. Being physically active does not mean you have to go out and run a marathon, although if that is your bag, excellent. If you are just getting started with your self-care plan, any kind of physical activity is fantastic. Walking is one of the best activities out there. It is good for your joints, your bones, and most importantly your heart and mind.
Running, contrary to popular belief, is not bad for you. On the contrary, it is infectious. Some of my best thinking happens when I am out on the roads, running. It is my meditation time, my time for reflection.
Some will have you believe that walking and/or running are expensive ways to get into and stay in shape. I am here to dispel that. I challenge anyone to find me an annual gym membership that will cost as little as that of one or two pairs of properly fitted shoes. Notice, I said "properly fitted". That does not mean you can run out to your local box store and pick up any old shoes, throw them on your feet, and expect to keep your body moving and pain free. I urge you to find a store that looks at your feet, with your shoes and socks off, and look at your feet and find a shoe that is right for you. This is not at an extra cost. Stores like Fleet Feet for example simply do it as a part of their fitting process. They are not satisfied until you have the best shoe for you on your feet. And you shouldn't either. It is the best investment you can make. A good pair of walking or running shoes can last you anywhere from six to 12 months, depending on your level of activity. Not a bad investment of time and money.
Rest is equally important. It is your body's way of rebuilding itself from your activities. It is a important as any physical activity you will perform. Not much more can be said about that, but I cannot stress its importance enough.
Motivation and forward planning also go hand-in-hand. This journey of ours, this self-care plan, is a never ending process. There is no finish line, folks. With that in mind, goals are crucial to keep up your motivation. I am not saying that setting a firm weight-by-date goal is the only way to go. Find something that is important to you. Aiming for a charity walk in which you want to participate? Planning for a run, perhaps your first? Print out walk or race fliers and hang them anywhere your eyes go... it will be a constant reminder and instant motivation for you to keep your eye on the prize.
This self-care plan thing is not rocket science, by any means. It many things to many people. But there are some things it is not. It, much like us as human beings, is not nor does it have to be perfect. For many years, I beat myself up for making bad food choices or not being more active, and the like. It took me several years to figure out that if I could just make better choices seven, eight, or even nine times out of 10, I would be ahead of the game in the long run... and that is precisely what this self-care plan idea is all about. The big picture. The rest of your life. If you do not have a self-care plan in place yet, get one. They are fun, free, and may just be the key to unlocking a brand new life of wellness for you, your friends, and family.
Be well.
11 April 2008
Fleet Feet Greenville visits Canal Insurance, presents Walk to Your Health!!!
I had a wonderful time yesterday with Sheila McCullough from Fleet Feet Sports in Greenville as we addressed a crowd of over 40 employees from Canal Insurance Company. We talked about everything from getting fitted for the right shoes for the needs of your feet and fitness goals to motivational techniques to help get everyone a little bit more active and feeling better, inside and out. Let's face it - being active is really not that hard. Our bodies, by their very nature, want to be active. However our society has done an exceptional job of deprogramming us. Now is the time to change that. All it takes is one small change, and I promise, it is infectious!
It fills my heart with such joy to be able to speak with others about being more active, eating better and, in general, just taking better care of themselves inside and out. I cannot wait for the next opportunity to do so.
Check back here for photos and perhaps even video clips from events and speaking engagements!
It fills my heart with such joy to be able to speak with others about being more active, eating better and, in general, just taking better care of themselves inside and out. I cannot wait for the next opportunity to do so.
Check back here for photos and perhaps even video clips from events and speaking engagements!
09 April 2008
Aufweidersehen bis mein Bruder
I have not had many opportunities to post on here of late. This one is very necessary. On Saturday morning, March 22, 2008, my uncle, Thomas Peters, lost his battle with metastatic prostate cancer. He was 64 years of age.
Thos who know me are aware of just how difficult the past several months have been for my family and me. When he was diagnosed back in 2006, the prognosis was not so good, as even then it was metasticized. However, in true Uncle Tom fashion, he fought and refused to let it take him quite so fast. He traveled three (3) more times to Germany - which made for 109 times all tolled - including one in September of 2006 with his pain in the rump nephew - me.
To try to sit here and express in words the impact of his life on mine would be doing him so little justice. He was a sage, a wise man who was never afraid to let me know exactly what he thought, whether I wanted to hear it or not. Odds are, I needed to hear whatever he had to say. I respected him immensely because even up until his last days, he did everything exactly the way he wanted. Uncle Tom was stubborn that way.
I loved him and always will. I told him that all the time, including the day before we lost him. His last weeks and days were not pretty, but he fought valiantly. He was the father figure I always wished I had. Sadly, I wish I would have realized that sooner.
I am proud to say I knew Thomas Peters as a man, a friend, an uncle, and a brother. Some many try, but no one will be able to take away the memories I have with him pertaining to nothing in particular - losing money playing pool, losing money playing cards, hearing another one of his jokes, AGAIN - whatever the case may be.
I can only hope he is keeping an eye on me. Heaven knows I need it.
Watch the ice, Bro.
Thos who know me are aware of just how difficult the past several months have been for my family and me. When he was diagnosed back in 2006, the prognosis was not so good, as even then it was metasticized. However, in true Uncle Tom fashion, he fought and refused to let it take him quite so fast. He traveled three (3) more times to Germany - which made for 109 times all tolled - including one in September of 2006 with his pain in the rump nephew - me.
To try to sit here and express in words the impact of his life on mine would be doing him so little justice. He was a sage, a wise man who was never afraid to let me know exactly what he thought, whether I wanted to hear it or not. Odds are, I needed to hear whatever he had to say. I respected him immensely because even up until his last days, he did everything exactly the way he wanted. Uncle Tom was stubborn that way.
I loved him and always will. I told him that all the time, including the day before we lost him. His last weeks and days were not pretty, but he fought valiantly. He was the father figure I always wished I had. Sadly, I wish I would have realized that sooner.
I am proud to say I knew Thomas Peters as a man, a friend, an uncle, and a brother. Some many try, but no one will be able to take away the memories I have with him pertaining to nothing in particular - losing money playing pool, losing money playing cards, hearing another one of his jokes, AGAIN - whatever the case may be.
I can only hope he is keeping an eye on me. Heaven knows I need it.
Watch the ice, Bro.
Update from the 2008 Greenville National MS Society Walk
What an amazing day it was this past Sunday. The weather was perfect, the people were enthused, and the cause was there. The picture to the left kind of says it all. I am in the back row, all the way to the left with my wife just in front of me and to my right.
Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that has struck as close to home for me as possible. For those who do not know, my mother was diagnosed with this disease about nine (9) years ago.
Since my wife and I moved to South Carolina, we have been blessed to meet two wonderful friends from New York, one of whom was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Events like the walk this past week really give me a pause for thought as to what things are important in life. Family, friends, and all that goes with them.
Going forward, this Blog will be used as a proactive tool to help promote health and fitness as well as a sounding board for the latest developments with the MS team my friends and I are working on assembling.
Feel free to post your comments. Be well.
Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that has struck as close to home for me as possible. For those who do not know, my mother was diagnosed with this disease about nine (9) years ago.
Since my wife and I moved to South Carolina, we have been blessed to meet two wonderful friends from New York, one of whom was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Events like the walk this past week really give me a pause for thought as to what things are important in life. Family, friends, and all that goes with them.
Going forward, this Blog will be used as a proactive tool to help promote health and fitness as well as a sounding board for the latest developments with the MS team my friends and I are working on assembling.
Feel free to post your comments. Be well.
29 January 2008
Yet another thought...
It is something of a foreign concept to many, myself included. I have read that the human body, by its very nature, seeks to do as little as possible – rather seeking to work as little as possible – in an effort to maintain its existence. All one need to do is look around and see that is the lifestyle being readily chosen by many of our brothers and sisters. Maybe it is my self-deprecating nature, but I tend to believe the opposite to be true. Rather our bodies, in and of their very selves, want to be healthy, efficient beings. However my poor decisions and destructive lifestyle has prevented me from allowing my body to be that which it is innately intended to be.
There is no secret that I have been entirely incredulous when it comes to my own well-being. I am not sure if it is nature or nurture or a little of both or something in between. My painfully debilitating habits of eating and drinking to excess of been my collective Achilles heel for as long as I can remember. There is safety in them both, sadly. They are comforting and, generally, do not put up much of a fight when asked to do the job. They medicate, in a feeble effort to mask the pain I wish never existed in the first place. It was almost as if somehow my life of excess enabled me to forget all that I was and amplified all I had wanted to become.
Hardly.
The excesses of my prior life have only gone to “pile on”, as it were. Instead of comforting and soothing all that is painful in my life, it has only gone to put my body in an even worse predicament. How my body tolerated my drinking and eating, I have no idea. There were some times, God as my witness, I felt as if my body was about to rebel in the most Biblical of ways.
This was not so much of a difficult realization to have. Not at all. It, to me, is all about common sense. I cannot envision a life without running. It really has become a part of the fiber of my very being for the past two years-plus. There have been times, however, that my addictions to food and drink have secretly – or not – attempted to railroad my efforts at a healthier lifestyle. Once I had realized that my body wanted nothing exemplary or revolutionary, it suddenly became easy. My body wants nothing more than to do what it does, efficiently. I cannot expect to run while drinking like a fish and eating as if I will never see food again.
Again, not revolutionary things, but the drugs of my life of excess have some form of blinding powers as well, apparently.
There may be other, more astounding revelations to be had, somewhere along the line. I hope so. Ideas like this, and I feel I am insulting the notion by calling it an “idea”, is nothing short of life-changing. I am not through with re-examining my relationship with food and drink. Not by a long shot. But that first realization is that initial step. I have been waiting for that first step for a long time.
There is no secret that I have been entirely incredulous when it comes to my own well-being. I am not sure if it is nature or nurture or a little of both or something in between. My painfully debilitating habits of eating and drinking to excess of been my collective Achilles heel for as long as I can remember. There is safety in them both, sadly. They are comforting and, generally, do not put up much of a fight when asked to do the job. They medicate, in a feeble effort to mask the pain I wish never existed in the first place. It was almost as if somehow my life of excess enabled me to forget all that I was and amplified all I had wanted to become.
Hardly.
The excesses of my prior life have only gone to “pile on”, as it were. Instead of comforting and soothing all that is painful in my life, it has only gone to put my body in an even worse predicament. How my body tolerated my drinking and eating, I have no idea. There were some times, God as my witness, I felt as if my body was about to rebel in the most Biblical of ways.
This was not so much of a difficult realization to have. Not at all. It, to me, is all about common sense. I cannot envision a life without running. It really has become a part of the fiber of my very being for the past two years-plus. There have been times, however, that my addictions to food and drink have secretly – or not – attempted to railroad my efforts at a healthier lifestyle. Once I had realized that my body wanted nothing exemplary or revolutionary, it suddenly became easy. My body wants nothing more than to do what it does, efficiently. I cannot expect to run while drinking like a fish and eating as if I will never see food again.
Again, not revolutionary things, but the drugs of my life of excess have some form of blinding powers as well, apparently.
There may be other, more astounding revelations to be had, somewhere along the line. I hope so. Ideas like this, and I feel I am insulting the notion by calling it an “idea”, is nothing short of life-changing. I am not through with re-examining my relationship with food and drink. Not by a long shot. But that first realization is that initial step. I have been waiting for that first step for a long time.
27 January 2008
Where have I been?
It truly amazes me how reading someone else's words really is the key to unlocking so many doors for me. This morning was no different. I have been running - in some way, shape, or form - for the better part of two years and change. However, it was not until I read yet another one of John Bingham's classic chapters that I realized I was a runner. Right, exactly. I had been running all this time, only just now to figure I was a runner.
I had brief moments of noticing this before, sure. Long runs, outside, last spring or summer, unveiled some of the most beautiful spring and summer weekend mornings with sunrises that I could not have painted any better had I been a painter worth his salt. There were moments that, with the help of some timely music, I was moved to a step just shy of tears. Strange for me, I know. But still...
Why has it taken me so long to make such an admission? Well, much like Bingham, I am not fast. I am not sure I am ready to label myself a Penguin, by any stretch, but I guess I am, in reality. My prior two efforts at a 5K showed me, in no uncertain terms, that I should accept my lot in life as a waddler. I will get there... one day.
That said, appreciating the fact that, for the past two years-plus, I have been able to move my body using nothing more than my two feet is nothing short of astonishing. I remember how rotund I used to consider myself. I still do, actually. But that is another issue for another time. The fact that I carry so much control over how fast or how far I run, at any particular point in time is an amazing thing for me.
Yesterday was a great example of this. I ran for about 80 minutes, just a shade over 7 miles. I cared nothing for pace. I simply wanted to run for a long time. I felt I could have run forever. Sure, at the 70 minute mark I ramped up the treadmill a touch to pick up the pace and my heart rate, but if I had kept the pace where it was, I have no doubt I could have run a few more miles. A half marathon? Perhaps. Well, maybe. I am not sure. But yesterday morning, I felt like I could have run to infinity. Or, in all actuality, run from all that has weighed down m heart and soul.
That is another interesting aspect of my running. Some choose to run towards something - a personal record, a medal, a t-shirt, whatever. I believe I am running away from a deep, dark history of pain and suffering. Short runs are nice and sometimes fun. But the real transcendental moments for me are when I run for distance and time. I attribute it to all of the stored body fat on my frame. Hey, I am built for running long distances... just look at all of the stored energy I have on my body, ready for use!
But I digress. Point being, on a relatively unassuming Sunday, I found that which running had given me. And it only took me over two years to realize it. Sad and exhilarating all at the same time. My life is on a better to being better. It may not be roses and fuzzy bunnies the whole time. But I will be a better person, someday.
Like someone once told me... This is who I am today. I could be better. I could be worse. But I will always work to improve from the day before.
I had brief moments of noticing this before, sure. Long runs, outside, last spring or summer, unveiled some of the most beautiful spring and summer weekend mornings with sunrises that I could not have painted any better had I been a painter worth his salt. There were moments that, with the help of some timely music, I was moved to a step just shy of tears. Strange for me, I know. But still...
Why has it taken me so long to make such an admission? Well, much like Bingham, I am not fast. I am not sure I am ready to label myself a Penguin, by any stretch, but I guess I am, in reality. My prior two efforts at a 5K showed me, in no uncertain terms, that I should accept my lot in life as a waddler. I will get there... one day.
That said, appreciating the fact that, for the past two years-plus, I have been able to move my body using nothing more than my two feet is nothing short of astonishing. I remember how rotund I used to consider myself. I still do, actually. But that is another issue for another time. The fact that I carry so much control over how fast or how far I run, at any particular point in time is an amazing thing for me.
Yesterday was a great example of this. I ran for about 80 minutes, just a shade over 7 miles. I cared nothing for pace. I simply wanted to run for a long time. I felt I could have run forever. Sure, at the 70 minute mark I ramped up the treadmill a touch to pick up the pace and my heart rate, but if I had kept the pace where it was, I have no doubt I could have run a few more miles. A half marathon? Perhaps. Well, maybe. I am not sure. But yesterday morning, I felt like I could have run to infinity. Or, in all actuality, run from all that has weighed down m heart and soul.
That is another interesting aspect of my running. Some choose to run towards something - a personal record, a medal, a t-shirt, whatever. I believe I am running away from a deep, dark history of pain and suffering. Short runs are nice and sometimes fun. But the real transcendental moments for me are when I run for distance and time. I attribute it to all of the stored body fat on my frame. Hey, I am built for running long distances... just look at all of the stored energy I have on my body, ready for use!
But I digress. Point being, on a relatively unassuming Sunday, I found that which running had given me. And it only took me over two years to realize it. Sad and exhilarating all at the same time. My life is on a better to being better. It may not be roses and fuzzy bunnies the whole time. But I will be a better person, someday.
Like someone once told me... This is who I am today. I could be better. I could be worse. But I will always work to improve from the day before.
26 January 2008
More random thoughts...
What a tangled web I tend to weave, especially in my own mind. But there are milliseconds of clarity, even with all that is happening in my life. Small realizations such as that which I had this morning are more valuable to me than to anyone else, obviously, but it is so hard to place an actual value on them.
Today will be just about one week of total sobriety for me. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not. Maybe, maybe not. I am many things... a creature of habit, type A, obsessive compulsive... the whole lot. Sadly, during this time while I have given up the drink, and I know it has only been a week, I have been wanting to eat like a horse. I have avoided those inclinations, by and large, but they still exist. It was not until this morning that I realized just how and why this is happening.
Food has always been an addiction for me. For as long as I can remember, it was the drug that eased my pain and sheltered and comforted me from the horror of reality. Granted, I was the only one who prevented me from doing anything about it - Lord knows, I am the only one who has the key to that car. But as time wore on, and in my futile attempts to right the wrongs of my life, I continued to exchange one one drug for another. Food, alcohol, back to food, sometimes exercise, whatever.
Just how dependent am I on these drugs? Obviously, very. Am I an alcoholic like my father was? I don't know, maybe. He probably drank a bit more consistently than I ever did. One thing I have never been is consistent. Insert rim hot here.
The other revelation from this morning was not really so much of a revelation as it was a recollection. I truly believe my dad talks to me from time to time. No, they are not the orchestrated conversations with those long gone, as we see in movies or on television. He occasionally just shows up, unannounced - that is just like him - and sticks his two cents in - that too is just like him. The recurring theme of what he tells me is, essentially, to be better than he was. Honestly, I am not completely sure what that means. I never really knew him well enough to be able to say what that entailed. But his reputation precedes him - sorry dad, I am trying to stick up for you.
I really wonder if it is him talking to me, although my heart tells m it is. I guess it is possible that I am using his memory to convey something that I want for myself, and this is another way to get that message from my subconscious to my conscious mind. I cannot be sure. I like the former thought better than the latter. I would like to think he is looking down on me, and wants good things for me. It is reasonable, I think, to believe that he knew life was going to be hard for me without him. I don't know, maybe he did not care. But I did. I do.
It is thoughts like these that really make my mind even more busy than it already is. It is difficult if not impossible to compartmentalize right now. I guess it always has been thanks to that little coping mechanism called repression.
But, enough with the doom and gloom. I am working on myself. Granted, I am a work in progress. I probably always will be. But it is little things like this that put a smile on my inner face. I know I have a long road to hoe to get myself back in order, whatever that means. I am ready, willing and, I pray, able to get on my way.
Although I know he will never read this, I have to say it... I want to thank John Bingham for writing... at all. Everything I have read from him thus far has spoken to me in ways that go so far beyond the act of running itself. It really tore right into my very being with regard to my emotions of the past, present, and future. I would like to think I am a better person for having read a single line of his work. I am not the only one he has helped with his writings, this I know, but I am the only one I know who has benefited quite as much as I have.
Keep waddling I will, John. I will.
Today will be just about one week of total sobriety for me. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not. Maybe, maybe not. I am many things... a creature of habit, type A, obsessive compulsive... the whole lot. Sadly, during this time while I have given up the drink, and I know it has only been a week, I have been wanting to eat like a horse. I have avoided those inclinations, by and large, but they still exist. It was not until this morning that I realized just how and why this is happening.
Food has always been an addiction for me. For as long as I can remember, it was the drug that eased my pain and sheltered and comforted me from the horror of reality. Granted, I was the only one who prevented me from doing anything about it - Lord knows, I am the only one who has the key to that car. But as time wore on, and in my futile attempts to right the wrongs of my life, I continued to exchange one one drug for another. Food, alcohol, back to food, sometimes exercise, whatever.
Just how dependent am I on these drugs? Obviously, very. Am I an alcoholic like my father was? I don't know, maybe. He probably drank a bit more consistently than I ever did. One thing I have never been is consistent. Insert rim hot here.
The other revelation from this morning was not really so much of a revelation as it was a recollection. I truly believe my dad talks to me from time to time. No, they are not the orchestrated conversations with those long gone, as we see in movies or on television. He occasionally just shows up, unannounced - that is just like him - and sticks his two cents in - that too is just like him. The recurring theme of what he tells me is, essentially, to be better than he was. Honestly, I am not completely sure what that means. I never really knew him well enough to be able to say what that entailed. But his reputation precedes him - sorry dad, I am trying to stick up for you.
I really wonder if it is him talking to me, although my heart tells m it is. I guess it is possible that I am using his memory to convey something that I want for myself, and this is another way to get that message from my subconscious to my conscious mind. I cannot be sure. I like the former thought better than the latter. I would like to think he is looking down on me, and wants good things for me. It is reasonable, I think, to believe that he knew life was going to be hard for me without him. I don't know, maybe he did not care. But I did. I do.
It is thoughts like these that really make my mind even more busy than it already is. It is difficult if not impossible to compartmentalize right now. I guess it always has been thanks to that little coping mechanism called repression.
But, enough with the doom and gloom. I am working on myself. Granted, I am a work in progress. I probably always will be. But it is little things like this that put a smile on my inner face. I know I have a long road to hoe to get myself back in order, whatever that means. I am ready, willing and, I pray, able to get on my way.
Although I know he will never read this, I have to say it... I want to thank John Bingham for writing... at all. Everything I have read from him thus far has spoken to me in ways that go so far beyond the act of running itself. It really tore right into my very being with regard to my emotions of the past, present, and future. I would like to think I am a better person for having read a single line of his work. I am not the only one he has helped with his writings, this I know, but I am the only one I know who has benefited quite as much as I have.
Keep waddling I will, John. I will.
07 December 2007
How did I get here?
It is interesting, to say the least, to even try to begin to reflect on some of the inflection I have been able to do during runs. This was never more true than this morning - a balmy 35 degrees in downtown Greenville. No worries. A pair of long sleeve shirts, shorts, and my running shoes were all I needed today. Skip on the mp3 player today, though.
This journey - it still amazes me. I learn so much about myself almost daily. Today I learned perhaps my most valuable lesson, yet it is something I have known for a long time. These things I know to be true: I need to take care of myself as no one can better operate my self-care plan than me; I need to take care of my body, inside and out; and I need to ensure that this body in motion continues to stay in motion.
The final lesson learned during the brisk run this morning? There is no finish line.
This journey - it still amazes me. I learn so much about myself almost daily. Today I learned perhaps my most valuable lesson, yet it is something I have known for a long time. These things I know to be true: I need to take care of myself as no one can better operate my self-care plan than me; I need to take care of my body, inside and out; and I need to ensure that this body in motion continues to stay in motion.
The final lesson learned during the brisk run this morning? There is no finish line.
14 October 2007
This is still a process, after all...
Quite this journey this is... It is safe to say, I learn something new about myself every day that goes by. I have done well over the past few months tracking everything I have consumed in an effort to not only remain accountable, but also to make sure I am fueling myself well for my runs. Well as time went on, suddenly tracking my food was passe'... In the grand scheme, I have not been doing poorly. But I have not been doing as well as I should be in my Self Care Plan.
The lesson to be learned here? There is no "-ed" in my vocabulary when it comes to the words "reform" and "rehabilitate". I am an obese person. My efforts over the past couple of years may not really reflect it, but that is who I am. While I have worked very hard to lose, at this time, about 120 pounds, I know just how quickly it can all slip away. Granted, not at one sitting, nor during one weekend.
I am a creature of habit, whether the habits are good or otherwise. When I am making good decisions in my life, I can catch all kinds of momentum on this joyous ride of mine. When mistakes are made, I know it, and as so many of us tend to do, defeat myself over and over again for these mistakes.
The key to maintaining one's Self-Care Plan is NOT to win every single battle with which we are faced. There are so many challenges that lie ahead, whether they are eating questions during social situations or lying in bed trying to decide whether get up a little earlier to get in that much needed exercise. These battles are everywhere and will never cease.
No, the key to success is not being perfect or even trying to be perfect. Rather my goal is to win more battles than I lose. Life is life. It is not clear-cut, nor does it always go the way I would like. If it did, I would be able to control what I eat, drink, and do at all times. Generally, I do my best to accomplish that very thing. Other times, it is easier said than done.
Why the diatribe, I have no idea... Jut clearing out the proverbial desk drawer in my mind, I guess. It's funny, even when you think you have the drawer completely cleaned out, there are always little crevices remaining that are often difficult to reach and get into.
Back to reality... After a week or two of some lower leg issues, I am feeling healthy and strong. I may, depending on how things go, give another shot to a fourth running day this week. Staying off the dreadmill is crucial for me. I would sooner have my finger nails plucked off one at a time than be caught dead on the ol' hamster wheel as much as I was on there for a while.
I am going to be working hard on this blog to get it up to date with things that are important to me, so stay tuned...
Be well.
The lesson to be learned here? There is no "-ed" in my vocabulary when it comes to the words "reform" and "rehabilitate". I am an obese person. My efforts over the past couple of years may not really reflect it, but that is who I am. While I have worked very hard to lose, at this time, about 120 pounds, I know just how quickly it can all slip away. Granted, not at one sitting, nor during one weekend.
I am a creature of habit, whether the habits are good or otherwise. When I am making good decisions in my life, I can catch all kinds of momentum on this joyous ride of mine. When mistakes are made, I know it, and as so many of us tend to do, defeat myself over and over again for these mistakes.
The key to maintaining one's Self-Care Plan is NOT to win every single battle with which we are faced. There are so many challenges that lie ahead, whether they are eating questions during social situations or lying in bed trying to decide whether get up a little earlier to get in that much needed exercise. These battles are everywhere and will never cease.
No, the key to success is not being perfect or even trying to be perfect. Rather my goal is to win more battles than I lose. Life is life. It is not clear-cut, nor does it always go the way I would like. If it did, I would be able to control what I eat, drink, and do at all times. Generally, I do my best to accomplish that very thing. Other times, it is easier said than done.
Why the diatribe, I have no idea... Jut clearing out the proverbial desk drawer in my mind, I guess. It's funny, even when you think you have the drawer completely cleaned out, there are always little crevices remaining that are often difficult to reach and get into.
Back to reality... After a week or two of some lower leg issues, I am feeling healthy and strong. I may, depending on how things go, give another shot to a fourth running day this week. Staying off the dreadmill is crucial for me. I would sooner have my finger nails plucked off one at a time than be caught dead on the ol' hamster wheel as much as I was on there for a while.
I am going to be working hard on this blog to get it up to date with things that are important to me, so stay tuned...
Be well.
17 August 2007
Enjoy the Ride
All throughout this process - this journey of ours - we have to learn to take the time to enjoy the little things. No matter how stressful this journey may be, it is critical to our success to "smell the roses". So often it is difficult to imagine enjoying the process of losing weight. It used to amaze me to no end when I would attend meetings to see and hear the frustrations of those who were not satisfied with their results for the week. Some will lose weight weekly while others will gain and yet others will neither lose nor gain.
To hear someone say "I cannot believe I only lost [insert number of your choosing here] pounds!" Frustrating is really not the most accurate word, rather it was more irksome. After time however, it was clear to me that those individuals were not enjoying themselves. That realization was huge for me. This journey of ours undoubtedly will lead to changes in our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, and also in our ways of thinking. If we take the time to open our eyes to all of the changes taking place - to the evolution of our whole person - we will develop a greater appreciation for that which is occurring. It will mean so much more to us. It will be tangible and palpable. This new understanding will aide us in the ever challenging emotional aspects of dealing with the evolution of our persons that out respective self-care plans have afforded us.
These are not unfortunate changes, as some on the outside may feel. Sure, our personalities may change. Our usual behaviors and character traits may adjust slightly - or more than slightly. But our self-care plans are quick to show us that we have really been ignoring life. I know I did.
Life essentially just dragged me along for the ride. For 32-plus years, I was a comatose, submissive passenger on a trip to nowhere in particular. I felt as if I had no control over my life. It was true. I didn't. Enjoying life, for me, was too a process. Misery is no longer something which follows me around like a whiff of cologne. I want to be more active. I want to fuel my body the right way. I want to do all of the things I previously thought were ridiculous or unnecessary. Yes, there was a point when I weighed 335 pounds when I actually felt as if I did not need to lose weight. Why? It was the easy way out.
After I started my journey of one thousand steps, it took me a long time to realize that I had better enjoy the ride. Otherwise I was destined to be rejoined by those miserable feelings of my past. I am not perfect. I am a work in progress. I am not handsome and turn shy when folks say as much. I still have a bunch to work on, and I am still 30-some pounds away from where I want to be. But I will get there. I respect my body and my life too much not to. And throughout the entire rest of this journey - one that will undoubtedly last the rest of my life when considering the maintenance of my work - I will enjoy every step along the way. I will enjoy the ride.
To hear someone say "I cannot believe I only lost [insert number of your choosing here] pounds!" Frustrating is really not the most accurate word, rather it was more irksome. After time however, it was clear to me that those individuals were not enjoying themselves. That realization was huge for me. This journey of ours undoubtedly will lead to changes in our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, and also in our ways of thinking. If we take the time to open our eyes to all of the changes taking place - to the evolution of our whole person - we will develop a greater appreciation for that which is occurring. It will mean so much more to us. It will be tangible and palpable. This new understanding will aide us in the ever challenging emotional aspects of dealing with the evolution of our persons that out respective self-care plans have afforded us.
These are not unfortunate changes, as some on the outside may feel. Sure, our personalities may change. Our usual behaviors and character traits may adjust slightly - or more than slightly. But our self-care plans are quick to show us that we have really been ignoring life. I know I did.
Life essentially just dragged me along for the ride. For 32-plus years, I was a comatose, submissive passenger on a trip to nowhere in particular. I felt as if I had no control over my life. It was true. I didn't. Enjoying life, for me, was too a process. Misery is no longer something which follows me around like a whiff of cologne. I want to be more active. I want to fuel my body the right way. I want to do all of the things I previously thought were ridiculous or unnecessary. Yes, there was a point when I weighed 335 pounds when I actually felt as if I did not need to lose weight. Why? It was the easy way out.
After I started my journey of one thousand steps, it took me a long time to realize that I had better enjoy the ride. Otherwise I was destined to be rejoined by those miserable feelings of my past. I am not perfect. I am a work in progress. I am not handsome and turn shy when folks say as much. I still have a bunch to work on, and I am still 30-some pounds away from where I want to be. But I will get there. I respect my body and my life too much not to. And throughout the entire rest of this journey - one that will undoubtedly last the rest of my life when considering the maintenance of my work - I will enjoy every step along the way. I will enjoy the ride.
16 August 2007
Perfection
"Perfect", much like "love", is a term that is tossed about in society with the most painful of ease. For anyone who has spent the better part of his or her natural life as obese, "perfect" can mean many things. Look in the print media and on television, listen to radio advertisements, and perfection is seemingly everywhere. Cosmetic surgeries are shown and promoted in ways that are, for want of a better word, are unhealthy.
When I think of this self-care plan I have adopted, being perfect is such a strange thing to consider. As a life-long obese individual, I have been bombarded with ideologies as to the alleged right and wrong ways to be healthier and lose weight. The "perfect" ways. I see a person on television, working out for three hours a day and eating 1,200 calories every day and dropping 10 pounds per week and I cannot help but say - "Hey, why can't that be me?" Is any of that reasonable to a rational person? No, probably not. This whole mind set just really permeates my brain and soul. What's worse, it does not help with my all-or-nothing character flaw.
We as reforming obese people tend to set goals for ourselves that are out of reach. Why? Speaking from personal experience, it allows me to have something on which I can fall back. Not achieving my goals, however unfortunate, is something to which I have become rather accustomed.
I used to feel I had to be perfect in every way of my self-care plan, otherwise I was a complete failure. I had to eat only the right things, at all times. I had to exercise every day I was supposed to, whether I felt it or not. If I did not, I was "off the program" or "a failure". It took me a long time to figure this out, but that is just not true.
Many philosophers have said you can lose the battles but still win the war. I think this is true, but with a minor change. I do not have to win every battle in the process of my self-care plan. If I can win most of the battles - if I run when I know I should and rest when I know I should - if I eat the way my body will appreciate and make me healthier - if I can keep a positive mental attitude throughout this journey - if I can enjoy the journey and not ignore the joy and special feelings that come along with internal and external change - if I can do these things, more often than not, I will win this war.
This too is not an easy journey. This self-care plan of mine is a work in progress. Every day that goes by I learn a little bit more not only about my journey but about myself, what I have achieved and what it means to me, and how I need to go forward.
It is hard for me to say that I am proud of what I have accomplished, despite having lost 100 pounds to date. Despite winning more battles than I have lost, my personal war is far from over. Will it ever end? Probably not. Even when I reach my ultimate goal, that is when the true challenge begins.
I will continue to work hard. I will continue to be mindful of my body, what it needs, and what it doesn't. I will continue to fear slipping back into the darkness of my past. I will continue to tweak my self-care plan, as everyone should, to make it the best possible self-care plan for me.
What works for one may not work for others. While certain reality shows seem to swear up and down that their "healthier" way of life is the only way to go, I am not so quick to completely abolish it from my mind's eye. There is always something that can be taken from these bastardizations of society. Hard work, effort, and the emphasis on the emotional and physical changes that come along with this journey are things that are far too often forgotten about in this world of "wait, I only lost one pound!"
This too shall pass.
When I think of this self-care plan I have adopted, being perfect is such a strange thing to consider. As a life-long obese individual, I have been bombarded with ideologies as to the alleged right and wrong ways to be healthier and lose weight. The "perfect" ways. I see a person on television, working out for three hours a day and eating 1,200 calories every day and dropping 10 pounds per week and I cannot help but say - "Hey, why can't that be me?" Is any of that reasonable to a rational person? No, probably not. This whole mind set just really permeates my brain and soul. What's worse, it does not help with my all-or-nothing character flaw.
We as reforming obese people tend to set goals for ourselves that are out of reach. Why? Speaking from personal experience, it allows me to have something on which I can fall back. Not achieving my goals, however unfortunate, is something to which I have become rather accustomed.
I used to feel I had to be perfect in every way of my self-care plan, otherwise I was a complete failure. I had to eat only the right things, at all times. I had to exercise every day I was supposed to, whether I felt it or not. If I did not, I was "off the program" or "a failure". It took me a long time to figure this out, but that is just not true.
Many philosophers have said you can lose the battles but still win the war. I think this is true, but with a minor change. I do not have to win every battle in the process of my self-care plan. If I can win most of the battles - if I run when I know I should and rest when I know I should - if I eat the way my body will appreciate and make me healthier - if I can keep a positive mental attitude throughout this journey - if I can enjoy the journey and not ignore the joy and special feelings that come along with internal and external change - if I can do these things, more often than not, I will win this war.
This too is not an easy journey. This self-care plan of mine is a work in progress. Every day that goes by I learn a little bit more not only about my journey but about myself, what I have achieved and what it means to me, and how I need to go forward.
It is hard for me to say that I am proud of what I have accomplished, despite having lost 100 pounds to date. Despite winning more battles than I have lost, my personal war is far from over. Will it ever end? Probably not. Even when I reach my ultimate goal, that is when the true challenge begins.
I will continue to work hard. I will continue to be mindful of my body, what it needs, and what it doesn't. I will continue to fear slipping back into the darkness of my past. I will continue to tweak my self-care plan, as everyone should, to make it the best possible self-care plan for me.
What works for one may not work for others. While certain reality shows seem to swear up and down that their "healthier" way of life is the only way to go, I am not so quick to completely abolish it from my mind's eye. There is always something that can be taken from these bastardizations of society. Hard work, effort, and the emphasis on the emotional and physical changes that come along with this journey are things that are far too often forgotten about in this world of "wait, I only lost one pound!"
This too shall pass.
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About Me
- Dan
- NJ, United States
- A former 355-pound man, Dan has continued his journey, complete with ups and downs, and has begun to devote his life to helping others through their journeys.
