Motivation, so I have learned, is an evil, cynical mistress. It can be with you in one moment and leave you for dead the very next. It is invigorating and perplexing all at the same time. It is not always to be trusted but, when it is working in high gear, can often be your best friend. Often, when I think about why I run, often for a sense of motivation, I have to take myself back to the beginning... What got me started with running in the first place?
For the better part of my rational life, the amount of difficulty I had with "life-stuff" was legendary. Not only did I not have an avenue through which to relieve that stress but neither did I have the mental clarity to even form the necessary logical thoughts to solve any of my own problems. Running was, initially for me, a place to hide from the demons of my past. It was my own little vacuum-based world in which I could solve all of the world's (i.e. my) problems while having what would appear to the outsider as almost schizophrenic conversations with myself. This, for me, was revolutionary. Running, at least for me, is perhaps the best way for me to clear out my "mental inbox." I can solve many of the problems [at least temporarily] with which I may be plagued or, at the very least, think them through more coherently.
But enough about me...
There will be days when, whether with a group or on your own, when you will find it something next to unbearable to lace up your shoes to go out for a run. Allow me, however, to offer up to you that is the time when you need to get out there, more than perhaps any other. But how you go about moving yourself from being sedentary to running is the question.
The late Steve Prefontaine once said: "You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement."
Really, few other sentiments in the world sum up running quite like that. The purpose of running is metaphysical just as much as it is physical. It is the glue that can sometimes hold the few pieces of your life together in just such a way like nothing else can. Running is your best friend when no one else can or will listen. It is your time, for you. Running allows you the opportunity not only to flush out all of the negativity that this insanely condescending world has to offer but also, in the next stride, can offer you the greatest sense of satisfaction for achieving something that your mind told you to skip. Powerful stuff, indeed.
Motivation is something that is inside of all of us. It hides often when we need it most and, when we have it, can be the most infectious thing this side of the common cold. It is the former that deserves a long and close inflection. Find within yourself the reasons that brought you to running in the first place and I would be willing to bet you will find your motivation to continue down that road and on your journey towards many goals and a longer, happier life.
09 January 2009
07 January 2009
No one is perfect
We see it all the time, whether it be on television, in print media, and just in our everyday lives. It is rubbed in our faces like a big and brazen symbol of that which many of us strive to be, albeit for better or for worse. Perfection is something dangling out there like a carrot that is rotten to the core. Sure, it is appealing on the outside and may even seem somewhat good for you, but on the inside is nothing more than a disappointing emptiness that leaves you with a further sense of desperation than that which which you started.
It can be infuriating, without question. The images portrayed of physical perfection are just that: images. Like a great comic strip, the point is made, but the substance is a bit lacking.
So I say: "So what?"
It is not only impractical but I would argue that it is counterproductive to think for one single solitary moment that anyone can be absolutely perfect with regard to dietary plan, physical activity, and the rest of the self-care elements.
There mere thought of doing something other than that which is perceived to be perfect strikes a sense of fear in some the likes of which I cannot comprehend. It is almost as if you can be your own worst critic... on steroids. Now, while I am not an expert in anything other than falling off the wagon only to climb back on, I will quickly point out that this sort of militancy will put you on a road to failure sooner than ignoring your self-care altogether. If your notion of self-care is filled within nothing other than thoughts of perfection, you have no room for "life stuff." That is, you have no wiggle room to live. By clamping yourself into the mindset of perfection in all places and at all times, you paint yourself into a corner from which you may never be able to recover.
That is not to say that I am giving clear credence to making less than idea choices on a regular basis. Far from it. Reaching your self-care goals has nothing to do with beating yourself into submission with rigid standards that are, for want of a better word, unsustainable and impossible to maintain. Self-care does not come from a nice and neat little bottle or other seemingly benign package promising you a wonderful if not dramatic cleanse in ten days. What a properly developed and maintained self-care plan will offer you, however, is the ability to live the rest of your life far from the fear and trepidation that comes with the false sense of needing to be perfect.
Self-care is not perfect. If it were, you may not be reading this and I may not have written it. You, at the same time, are perfect in your own way. You and your self-care plan can be perfect for you, together. Making better decisions with regard to foods and activity are just the beginning. Perfection, for me, is finding that almost ethereal balance of making sure my body gets what it needs to be effective with running and, perhaps more importantly, the rest of my life.
Free your mind of the thoughts of perfection: whether you feel you do not run fast enough, your waist is not slender enough, you feel you are not able to eat like someone else, or whatever the case may be... Life your life for you, by the best self-care plan you can develop. Life happens.
Self-care is a learning experience just as much as it is a way of life. You will learn great things about yourself that, if you had opted to take a shiny packaged way out, you may not have known. Errors in judgment happen and are generally unavoidable. Just remember that if you fall, make sure you are face up, because if you can look up, you can get up.
Be well.
It can be infuriating, without question. The images portrayed of physical perfection are just that: images. Like a great comic strip, the point is made, but the substance is a bit lacking.
So I say: "So what?"
It is not only impractical but I would argue that it is counterproductive to think for one single solitary moment that anyone can be absolutely perfect with regard to dietary plan, physical activity, and the rest of the self-care elements.
There mere thought of doing something other than that which is perceived to be perfect strikes a sense of fear in some the likes of which I cannot comprehend. It is almost as if you can be your own worst critic... on steroids. Now, while I am not an expert in anything other than falling off the wagon only to climb back on, I will quickly point out that this sort of militancy will put you on a road to failure sooner than ignoring your self-care altogether. If your notion of self-care is filled within nothing other than thoughts of perfection, you have no room for "life stuff." That is, you have no wiggle room to live. By clamping yourself into the mindset of perfection in all places and at all times, you paint yourself into a corner from which you may never be able to recover.
That is not to say that I am giving clear credence to making less than idea choices on a regular basis. Far from it. Reaching your self-care goals has nothing to do with beating yourself into submission with rigid standards that are, for want of a better word, unsustainable and impossible to maintain. Self-care does not come from a nice and neat little bottle or other seemingly benign package promising you a wonderful if not dramatic cleanse in ten days. What a properly developed and maintained self-care plan will offer you, however, is the ability to live the rest of your life far from the fear and trepidation that comes with the false sense of needing to be perfect.
Self-care is not perfect. If it were, you may not be reading this and I may not have written it. You, at the same time, are perfect in your own way. You and your self-care plan can be perfect for you, together. Making better decisions with regard to foods and activity are just the beginning. Perfection, for me, is finding that almost ethereal balance of making sure my body gets what it needs to be effective with running and, perhaps more importantly, the rest of my life.
Free your mind of the thoughts of perfection: whether you feel you do not run fast enough, your waist is not slender enough, you feel you are not able to eat like someone else, or whatever the case may be... Life your life for you, by the best self-care plan you can develop. Life happens.
Self-care is a learning experience just as much as it is a way of life. You will learn great things about yourself that, if you had opted to take a shiny packaged way out, you may not have known. Errors in judgment happen and are generally unavoidable. Just remember that if you fall, make sure you are face up, because if you can look up, you can get up.
Be well.
05 January 2009
What would we be left with if not for challenges?
It is not unusual at all, really, to think about how someone else may "have it better" or how your journey seems, at least on the surface, to be so much more difficult than just about anyone else's. I am here to tell you, my friends, that these challenges not only build character (just like your Mother told you so many times) in a very hardened fast way, but they also give you the grand opportunity to truly revel in your accomplishments as you begin to achieve your goals.
Let's bring this back into focus for a moment. Running, on some days, is not fun for me. I offer to you this sentiment... there is NO bigger challenge on days which you have dedicated to running than to actually lace up the shoes and get out the door. The mere thought of running, the notion of lacing up a pair of odd looking shoes to meander down through some neighborhoods, has been known to gnaw at my very last nerve from time to time. There are times when it is nothing short of a chore that could be synonymous with cleaning out the gutters of my house or cleaning out a chicken coup. Of course, not all running days are like this for me. Daily stresses, instigators, other do-badders who insist, albeit unknowingly, to ruin my day just enough so that the thought of running does not come before the thought of a soothing Gin and Tonic. Yes, my friends... Running is evil. That is, of course, until I finish the run.
Sitting down to the supper table is no different. In fact, challenges are more prevalent here than anywhere else as we eat a whole lot more often than we run. There are and will continue to be those who will tell you that you can eat and drink whatever you like and your running will "balance it out." Yeah, that has worked not so well for me over the years. We are often bombarded with thoughts and opinions on how, what, where, and why to eat... I am absolutely certain that the infomercials, books, television programs, product placements, and the like are not, in any way, aimed to take money out of your pocket in an egregious way.
Putting all of the elements to a good self-care plan into place is difficult, to say the least. It is much akin to creating your own language, from scratch. You have to develop your own terms that are relevant to that which you want to achieve, assemble those terms in a way that means something to you and, hopefully, to those around you and, perhaps most importantly, you want it all to make sense. In reality, that is easier said than done when it comes to this journey.
You may have been told or will be told at some point along your journey that this hill is too steep to climb. Well, I doubt that. I have told you already and I will tell you again... Your biggest challenge, really, has been conquered. Like it or not, you are a runner. You made the decision that your prior life-ways are no longer in line with your current self-care plan.
The best part of this whole thing? Not only have you invested time and effort into yourself and your future, but you have surrounded yourself with many like-minded people. Allow me to welcome you to your built-in support system.
Going forward, both literally and figuratively, you will never walk alone.
Be well.
Let's bring this back into focus for a moment. Running, on some days, is not fun for me. I offer to you this sentiment... there is NO bigger challenge on days which you have dedicated to running than to actually lace up the shoes and get out the door. The mere thought of running, the notion of lacing up a pair of odd looking shoes to meander down through some neighborhoods, has been known to gnaw at my very last nerve from time to time. There are times when it is nothing short of a chore that could be synonymous with cleaning out the gutters of my house or cleaning out a chicken coup. Of course, not all running days are like this for me. Daily stresses, instigators, other do-badders who insist, albeit unknowingly, to ruin my day just enough so that the thought of running does not come before the thought of a soothing Gin and Tonic. Yes, my friends... Running is evil. That is, of course, until I finish the run.
Sitting down to the supper table is no different. In fact, challenges are more prevalent here than anywhere else as we eat a whole lot more often than we run. There are and will continue to be those who will tell you that you can eat and drink whatever you like and your running will "balance it out." Yeah, that has worked not so well for me over the years. We are often bombarded with thoughts and opinions on how, what, where, and why to eat... I am absolutely certain that the infomercials, books, television programs, product placements, and the like are not, in any way, aimed to take money out of your pocket in an egregious way.
Putting all of the elements to a good self-care plan into place is difficult, to say the least. It is much akin to creating your own language, from scratch. You have to develop your own terms that are relevant to that which you want to achieve, assemble those terms in a way that means something to you and, hopefully, to those around you and, perhaps most importantly, you want it all to make sense. In reality, that is easier said than done when it comes to this journey.
You may have been told or will be told at some point along your journey that this hill is too steep to climb. Well, I doubt that. I have told you already and I will tell you again... Your biggest challenge, really, has been conquered. Like it or not, you are a runner. You made the decision that your prior life-ways are no longer in line with your current self-care plan.
The best part of this whole thing? Not only have you invested time and effort into yourself and your future, but you have surrounded yourself with many like-minded people. Allow me to welcome you to your built-in support system.
Going forward, both literally and figuratively, you will never walk alone.
Be well.
28 December 2008
Tomorrow starts today
So often, we are stricken with guilt over what could have been, what ought to have been, and what should be. We are quick to form these grand plans in our minds about where we see ourselves personally, professionally, and with regard to our self care. Many will say there is always tomorrow. I disagree. Tomorrow's successes are the direct result of not your words, but rather your actions today.
The time is coming for resolutions to be made and broken. Remade and re-broken. It is easy given how unproven and shaky in support as our surroundings can be at times. Companies make billions of dollars off folks like us who, as soon as we take that first step towards self care, they know we are destined for failure and several subsequent attempts to make good on the age old promise to ourselves to just "be better."
January 1st is right around the corner. What positive changes have you already made in your life that have put you on the road to better self care in 2009? Do not put off until tomorrow that which you can accomplish today. If the changes you want to implement are genuine in nature, and if you are completely behind them with every ounce of your very being, there is no reason to get a head start on the rest of the human race.
Do something good for yourself now. Do it now. Do it today. Get a head start on the new year and the rest of your life.
The time is coming for resolutions to be made and broken. Remade and re-broken. It is easy given how unproven and shaky in support as our surroundings can be at times. Companies make billions of dollars off folks like us who, as soon as we take that first step towards self care, they know we are destined for failure and several subsequent attempts to make good on the age old promise to ourselves to just "be better."
January 1st is right around the corner. What positive changes have you already made in your life that have put you on the road to better self care in 2009? Do not put off until tomorrow that which you can accomplish today. If the changes you want to implement are genuine in nature, and if you are completely behind them with every ounce of your very being, there is no reason to get a head start on the rest of the human race.
Do something good for yourself now. Do it now. Do it today. Get a head start on the new year and the rest of your life.
17 December 2008
The Decision Has Been Made
Well, the time has come to stop fretting about this thing. After much thought, discussion with my wife who is my absolute rock of support, and folks who either have the Marine Corps Marathon ("MCM") on their Marathon Bucket List or have done it already, this is the race for me. The organization, the crowd support, the pride, the course (serious hills in the first 8 miles, by the way), and the location just seem to make this a good choice for me.
How often can we run right next to the Washington Monument or the White House or the Pentagon with closed streets? Neither my dad nor my uncles were in the Marines but, you know, I think I am able to look past that... Rather, I will be proud to have a member of our armed forces place that finisher's medal around my neck when I cross the finish line.
Some have told me that my first marathon will be like another prior first in my life... full of sound and fury signifying nothing (i.e. will not live up to the hype). I disagree. Being a part of the MCM is something that, really, I am not sure how it could not inspire me more.
I am looking forward to registration, training, and getting there. I truly feel at peace with this. Now, the fun part... Training.
Be well.
14 December 2008
Why do we want that which we do not have?
I have seen it for years... People seemingly with everything compared to my presumably nothing. Someone else is skinner, did it easier, did not struggle as much as I did, or fail as much as I failed. Surely they must also be happier than me as a result of that. Maybe. Maybe not.
Obviously though, the grass is not always greener. Ease in one's pursuit should not imply happiness. If I have said it once, I have said it too many times... A large part of the reward is in the toil and effort put into your journey.
Yet why still am I almost always intrigued by those who take a different path on their journey (i.e. an easier path or, better, one of less resistance)?
My prior life (and, I would argue, partial current life) of self-deprecation, self-abuse, self-neglect - perhaps better, ignorance - has made me into the person I am today, for better or for worse is up for discussion. But the desire for the easy way out, which referring to it that way is perhaps presumptuous on my part, is nothing more than to short change myself on that which will truly right the wrongs of my past work. To not struggle, to not put forth all of the effort I have to make myself right or, perhaps a better word is "better", through self-care really is to eliminate perhaps the biggest prize of them all - knowing that it was earned and not given, achieved by effort, and the understanding of all that went into it.
Perhaps I am making excuses for the willful desire to torture myself with this long, drawn out process. Just perhaps. But I still believe there is something more there to be had. What I have is truly mine. Granted, I am not to where I want to be just yet. Yet I think as time goes on I will be less attracted to the shiny, packaged alternative of an easier way compared to the lessons I have learned/am learning. My appreciation and respect for this process, for my own self-care, to understand the effort that went in to get me to where I am now and where I want to be down the road, will only go to further strengthen my resolve to ensure that I will never be that way again.
Obviously though, the grass is not always greener. Ease in one's pursuit should not imply happiness. If I have said it once, I have said it too many times... A large part of the reward is in the toil and effort put into your journey.
Yet why still am I almost always intrigued by those who take a different path on their journey (i.e. an easier path or, better, one of less resistance)?
My prior life (and, I would argue, partial current life) of self-deprecation, self-abuse, self-neglect - perhaps better, ignorance - has made me into the person I am today, for better or for worse is up for discussion. But the desire for the easy way out, which referring to it that way is perhaps presumptuous on my part, is nothing more than to short change myself on that which will truly right the wrongs of my past work. To not struggle, to not put forth all of the effort I have to make myself right or, perhaps a better word is "better", through self-care really is to eliminate perhaps the biggest prize of them all - knowing that it was earned and not given, achieved by effort, and the understanding of all that went into it.
Perhaps I am making excuses for the willful desire to torture myself with this long, drawn out process. Just perhaps. But I still believe there is something more there to be had. What I have is truly mine. Granted, I am not to where I want to be just yet. Yet I think as time goes on I will be less attracted to the shiny, packaged alternative of an easier way compared to the lessons I have learned/am learning. My appreciation and respect for this process, for my own self-care, to understand the effort that went in to get me to where I am now and where I want to be down the road, will only go to further strengthen my resolve to ensure that I will never be that way again.
10 December 2008
Progress Report [of sorts]: 10 December 2008
Well, what's to report, really...
I have not run in a little over a week due to the simple fact that my running has felt, for lack of a better word, horrendous. The contorted way in which my stride has evolved moves me to tears with every single step. So, something had to be done. Hovering around the 240-ish mark makes me even more weepy, really.
Thanks to the help of a good friend who just so happens to be a phenomenal physical therapist, I am on a path to getting back out on the roads. Lots of stretching and strengthening of the lower back, continued work on the core muscles, and a prescription for custom orthotics are in order. That and, of course, losing the remaining weight on my frame. That kind of goes without saying though.
So, it will be a couple of weeks without my believed running shoes. No long slow runs, no tempos, no intervals. None of it. I find it hard right now to even read about running even though I have some books to sift through in an attempt to formulate a marathon training plan.
Ahh yes... The marathon issue. I am aiming for the Kiawah Island Marathon in December of 2009. My thought process, flawed as it may be, includes reducing my weight [somewhat], getting back on the road, and building a solid base of 20-ish miles per week between now and the start of May. Then, it is all about training for 26.2. TWENTY-SIX point TWO.
I must be insane.
I have not run in a little over a week due to the simple fact that my running has felt, for lack of a better word, horrendous. The contorted way in which my stride has evolved moves me to tears with every single step. So, something had to be done. Hovering around the 240-ish mark makes me even more weepy, really.
Thanks to the help of a good friend who just so happens to be a phenomenal physical therapist, I am on a path to getting back out on the roads. Lots of stretching and strengthening of the lower back, continued work on the core muscles, and a prescription for custom orthotics are in order. That and, of course, losing the remaining weight on my frame. That kind of goes without saying though.
So, it will be a couple of weeks without my believed running shoes. No long slow runs, no tempos, no intervals. None of it. I find it hard right now to even read about running even though I have some books to sift through in an attempt to formulate a marathon training plan.
Ahh yes... The marathon issue. I am aiming for the Kiawah Island Marathon in December of 2009. My thought process, flawed as it may be, includes reducing my weight [somewhat], getting back on the road, and building a solid base of 20-ish miles per week between now and the start of May. Then, it is all about training for 26.2. TWENTY-SIX point TWO.
I must be insane.
25 November 2008
Progress report: 25 November 2008
Little to report today. I am taking today off after my 62:00 run yesterday morning. I will put runs in tomorrow, Friday, and likely on Saturday as well. My right hamstring is still noticeably tight. I know this has been linked to a hip flexor issue for the better part of 6 months, but I just cannot seem to shake it. I am doing my best to be mindful of it, but another trip to the massage therapist may be in order.
So I sat home last night and watched videos from the Philadelphia Marathon. Of course, I was completely sucked into the emotion and grandeur of the whole thing. The question keeps popping into my mind... Can I really do that? I wonder. I truly wonder.
But then I think back to the No Boundaries groups I have been coaching. Surely when they started off on their respective journeys they felt some sense of trepidation, some inkling of doubt. The initial intervals of 90 seconds of running must have seemed like an eternity for some of them. In fact, they told me as much... OFTEN. This, for me, is really no different than that.
I preach all the time that our bodies want to be progressively more and more active. However it is our minds which work to prevent our bodies from doing that which they were obviously built to acheive... MOVE. My most negative thinking with regard to distance running usually comes during the tougher part of a training run... My mind, in an attempt to shut down the whole operation, will do anything and everything to debilitate my efforts and put me on a fast track including little more than the couch, the refrigerator and, if I am lucky, the bathroom.
So, in the end, it really is nothing more complicated than mind over matter. I don't mind running so long as I don't let my brain matter, well, matter. Pushing that mental edge of the equation is truly the great variable in the equation of self-care. Each person's value attached to that variable is different. Some can push to the N-th degree without even thinking about it. Me, I tend to want to cave in. During my first half marathon, I wanted to stop. I really did. The last three (3) miles were the worst I have ever run in my life in every way imagineable. I thought about cutting across the line during the little out-and-back part. I even thought about quitting altogether. What was I ever thinking when I signed up for this thing?
But something funny happened on the way to the Forum... I did it. I stopped listening to my mind and just went. Now, when I finished, I WAS finished. No doubt there. But there was no real sense of regret for having done it. Rather, the first thing that popped into my mind was: "What's next?"
Well, I think I found it. The third Sunday in November, 2009. The Philadelphia Marathon. I am not sayin'. I'm just sayin'. It's a thought. Hopefully, my brain will not get too much in the way.
So I sat home last night and watched videos from the Philadelphia Marathon. Of course, I was completely sucked into the emotion and grandeur of the whole thing. The question keeps popping into my mind... Can I really do that? I wonder. I truly wonder.
But then I think back to the No Boundaries groups I have been coaching. Surely when they started off on their respective journeys they felt some sense of trepidation, some inkling of doubt. The initial intervals of 90 seconds of running must have seemed like an eternity for some of them. In fact, they told me as much... OFTEN. This, for me, is really no different than that.
I preach all the time that our bodies want to be progressively more and more active. However it is our minds which work to prevent our bodies from doing that which they were obviously built to acheive... MOVE. My most negative thinking with regard to distance running usually comes during the tougher part of a training run... My mind, in an attempt to shut down the whole operation, will do anything and everything to debilitate my efforts and put me on a fast track including little more than the couch, the refrigerator and, if I am lucky, the bathroom.
So, in the end, it really is nothing more complicated than mind over matter. I don't mind running so long as I don't let my brain matter, well, matter. Pushing that mental edge of the equation is truly the great variable in the equation of self-care. Each person's value attached to that variable is different. Some can push to the N-th degree without even thinking about it. Me, I tend to want to cave in. During my first half marathon, I wanted to stop. I really did. The last three (3) miles were the worst I have ever run in my life in every way imagineable. I thought about cutting across the line during the little out-and-back part. I even thought about quitting altogether. What was I ever thinking when I signed up for this thing?
But something funny happened on the way to the Forum... I did it. I stopped listening to my mind and just went. Now, when I finished, I WAS finished. No doubt there. But there was no real sense of regret for having done it. Rather, the first thing that popped into my mind was: "What's next?"
Well, I think I found it. The third Sunday in November, 2009. The Philadelphia Marathon. I am not sayin'. I'm just sayin'. It's a thought. Hopefully, my brain will not get too much in the way.
08 November 2008
Who knew re-gifting could feel so good?
Having the opportunity – let alone the ability – to create something tangible is a goal that many of us have. Some create art, save lives, write books, and erect structures. While these are all noble pursuits, to affect other peoples’ lives in a positive manner, to help them see not only the beauty and potential in themselves but also in others may perhaps be the best of all.
The time I have had over the past year to work with, mentor, and help beginner runners, would-be healthier folks, and otherwise individuals who just wanted to feel good about something (anything!) has been nothing short of priceless. Having lived the way that I have lived, having neglected the way I have neglected, having thought the way I have thought, it is no small miracle that I am still here, working on my own self-care plan while at the same time, trying to help so many others flush out their own self-doubt.
People continue to ask me why I continue to coach beginning runners… The answer could not be more simple. The pride I have in the people with whom I have trained pales in comparison to the joy I see when they take what they have learned and apply it not only to their own daily lives, but when it is re-gifted to others. It has been my experience that people truly want to absorb the information, motivation, and tools they want and need to develop and maintain their self-care plans. The real gift, to me, is seeing them repackage those tools and pass them along to others. The gift that keeps on giving…
You have something to offer someone else with that which you have learned. Rest assured. Passing that gift along to someone else who may be in the same position you were some time ago is perhaps the most gratifying thing you can do aside from your personal accomplichments. You have these gifts inside of you. Much like this self-care plan you are developing, which needed nothing more than a swift little unearthing, you have these things inside of you.
Take what you have learned and share it with others. They may nod in a somewhat empty, listening-to-the-in-laws kind of way, but I guarantee at least some of your message will stick. Let them know from where you came. Explain to them how you have toiled to get to where you are. Then, tell them where you want to be going forward. Your heart will swell with a unique sense of self-pride the likes of which may have never felt. But think of the person who receives your gift. If you have packaged it well, complete with an appealing bow to tie it all together, odds are good that your gift will be re-gifted from them to someone else. Now, look at what you have started…
So I ask you… How will you re-gifted that which you have been given? And to whom?
The time I have had over the past year to work with, mentor, and help beginner runners, would-be healthier folks, and otherwise individuals who just wanted to feel good about something (anything!) has been nothing short of priceless. Having lived the way that I have lived, having neglected the way I have neglected, having thought the way I have thought, it is no small miracle that I am still here, working on my own self-care plan while at the same time, trying to help so many others flush out their own self-doubt.
People continue to ask me why I continue to coach beginning runners… The answer could not be more simple. The pride I have in the people with whom I have trained pales in comparison to the joy I see when they take what they have learned and apply it not only to their own daily lives, but when it is re-gifted to others. It has been my experience that people truly want to absorb the information, motivation, and tools they want and need to develop and maintain their self-care plans. The real gift, to me, is seeing them repackage those tools and pass them along to others. The gift that keeps on giving…
You have something to offer someone else with that which you have learned. Rest assured. Passing that gift along to someone else who may be in the same position you were some time ago is perhaps the most gratifying thing you can do aside from your personal accomplichments. You have these gifts inside of you. Much like this self-care plan you are developing, which needed nothing more than a swift little unearthing, you have these things inside of you.
Take what you have learned and share it with others. They may nod in a somewhat empty, listening-to-the-in-laws kind of way, but I guarantee at least some of your message will stick. Let them know from where you came. Explain to them how you have toiled to get to where you are. Then, tell them where you want to be going forward. Your heart will swell with a unique sense of self-pride the likes of which may have never felt. But think of the person who receives your gift. If you have packaged it well, complete with an appealing bow to tie it all together, odds are good that your gift will be re-gifted from them to someone else. Now, look at what you have started…
So I ask you… How will you re-gifted that which you have been given? And to whom?
27 October 2008
Race Report and Random Musings
Well... Where to begin. As always, so many things to write, so little time to reduce them to written form.
Suffice to say, my training for the Spinx Runfest Half Marathon did not exactly come off without its fair share of hitches. Quite the contrary. I could not seem to stay physically healthy, no matter what I did. Initially it was a seriously pulled/strained right hamstring (thanks to some bad hip flexors). Then it was really bad shin splints due to some poor shoe choices. As if that was not enough, six days prior to the race, I came down with a terrible cold.
Nevertheless, I stand before you (well, sit really) victorious. It was not pretty from a style perspective, but in my mind it was a thing of beauty. The day (25 October 2008) started out almost perfect. Cloud cover, a little warmer than expected (55-ish) and a light rain.
I got the starting line with about 12 minutes until the starting gun. I did some light running to loosen up my body, but the cold I had been battling left me really whipped, and I felt it. I really started second guessing the run. It was at that point that I made one promise to myself... just get to mile 3. I made the mistake, however, of wearing a long sleeve albeit thin pullover. By mile 2 I wanted to tear the thing off ala Hulk Hogan. By mile 3, I slowly started to find my rhythm, which was about normal for me. My biggest fear was going out too fast, but I ran consistent mile splits that were well within my range. I was thrilled. Mile 7 started the most challenging 3 miles of the course, filled with more hills than I would have liked. Still, I pressed on, tackled every water stop like a champ, swigging a little water, dumping a little on me to cool down. By mile 10, I was starting to feel the wear and tear. My longest training run had been 10.5 miles (twice, actually), so the mental aspect of carrying on past that point slowly (no, quickly) entered into my mind. Through some deep inflection and concentration, mostly thinking about my late uncle's battle with prostate cancer, it was clear I could not quit. He never did. Neither would I.
The finish of this particular race was cool as the finish line was at home plate of the local minor league baseball team's stadium. As I entered the stadium from right field, I knew I only had a little further to go. My legs (and mind) were jello. I rounded the outfield and made the stretch run down the third base line. I would love to sit here and tell you how I sprinted to glory at the end, but I cannot. I had nothing left. Nothing. I said a quick prayer, crossed the finish line and saw not only my fantastic wife, but also the vast majority of my No Boundaries group that I had been training, waiting on me to finish. I could not have asked for a better welcome.
To the extent possible, I hopped the wall, slogged up the steps and claimed my medal. Suffice to say, I am still carrying it with me as we speak until I can find a suitable resting place for it.
I learned a great deal about myself not only training for this race, but also during and after the race. I am still not sure it has settled in that I did what I did. Odd. I know I was there. My still sore legs tell me so. I guess it comes down to that little yet omnipresent demon inside of me that, even while I was out there running those last few miles, still tried to tell me that it was okay to give up, acceptable to quit. My history of doing just that is long. But this time I didn't. I wouldn't. Some have told me that their bodies quit on them long before their minds do when it comes to distance races. For me, it was the exact opposite. I cannot remember a time when I was more proud of myself for neglecting my own thoughts.
I am a very proud person today. I am proud of my wife for completing her first ever 5K (under my tutelage, of course). I am proud of my No Boundaries group (all 35 of them) for completing their 5Ks with gigantic smiles on their faces. Lastly I am proud of myself for doing the exact opposite of that which I have long been known to do.
Who knew?
Suffice to say, my training for the Spinx Runfest Half Marathon did not exactly come off without its fair share of hitches. Quite the contrary. I could not seem to stay physically healthy, no matter what I did. Initially it was a seriously pulled/strained right hamstring (thanks to some bad hip flexors). Then it was really bad shin splints due to some poor shoe choices. As if that was not enough, six days prior to the race, I came down with a terrible cold.
Nevertheless, I stand before you (well, sit really) victorious. It was not pretty from a style perspective, but in my mind it was a thing of beauty. The day (25 October 2008) started out almost perfect. Cloud cover, a little warmer than expected (55-ish) and a light rain.
I got the starting line with about 12 minutes until the starting gun. I did some light running to loosen up my body, but the cold I had been battling left me really whipped, and I felt it. I really started second guessing the run. It was at that point that I made one promise to myself... just get to mile 3. I made the mistake, however, of wearing a long sleeve albeit thin pullover. By mile 2 I wanted to tear the thing off ala Hulk Hogan. By mile 3, I slowly started to find my rhythm, which was about normal for me. My biggest fear was going out too fast, but I ran consistent mile splits that were well within my range. I was thrilled. Mile 7 started the most challenging 3 miles of the course, filled with more hills than I would have liked. Still, I pressed on, tackled every water stop like a champ, swigging a little water, dumping a little on me to cool down. By mile 10, I was starting to feel the wear and tear. My longest training run had been 10.5 miles (twice, actually), so the mental aspect of carrying on past that point slowly (no, quickly) entered into my mind. Through some deep inflection and concentration, mostly thinking about my late uncle's battle with prostate cancer, it was clear I could not quit. He never did. Neither would I.
The finish of this particular race was cool as the finish line was at home plate of the local minor league baseball team's stadium. As I entered the stadium from right field, I knew I only had a little further to go. My legs (and mind) were jello. I rounded the outfield and made the stretch run down the third base line. I would love to sit here and tell you how I sprinted to glory at the end, but I cannot. I had nothing left. Nothing. I said a quick prayer, crossed the finish line and saw not only my fantastic wife, but also the vast majority of my No Boundaries group that I had been training, waiting on me to finish. I could not have asked for a better welcome.
I completed my first ever half marathon in 2:17:14.
To the extent possible, I hopped the wall, slogged up the steps and claimed my medal. Suffice to say, I am still carrying it with me as we speak until I can find a suitable resting place for it.
I learned a great deal about myself not only training for this race, but also during and after the race. I am still not sure it has settled in that I did what I did. Odd. I know I was there. My still sore legs tell me so. I guess it comes down to that little yet omnipresent demon inside of me that, even while I was out there running those last few miles, still tried to tell me that it was okay to give up, acceptable to quit. My history of doing just that is long. But this time I didn't. I wouldn't. Some have told me that their bodies quit on them long before their minds do when it comes to distance races. For me, it was the exact opposite. I cannot remember a time when I was more proud of myself for neglecting my own thoughts.
I am a very proud person today. I am proud of my wife for completing her first ever 5K (under my tutelage, of course). I am proud of my No Boundaries group (all 35 of them) for completing their 5Ks with gigantic smiles on their faces. Lastly I am proud of myself for doing the exact opposite of that which I have long been known to do.
Who knew?
04 August 2008
Progress Report: August 4, 2008
Things are going well, overall. The more I focus, the less I think and, dare I say, the more I am true to myself, the more I realize just how important this journey is to me. To be angered to no end about not making progress in my journey while, all the long, knowing fully well that I was not doing all of the things necessary to make that dream of success a reality was, well, idiotic. I am focused now on recording all of the things that I consume. Alcohol is not the mainstay in my lifestyle that it may once have been - for whatever reason. This too is a learning experience. It is something that, if I really put my mind, heart, and soul into it, I have no doubt in my mind that success will follow.
Garbage in, garbage out, indeed. I now know why I have felt like such crap for so long. I may have been running, I may have "said" I was watching what I ate. But ultimately, I was too busy making excuses to justify my bad choices to really see what I was doing - i.e. giving myself an out to go back to the way I was over 100 lbs ago.
Strange...
But nevertheless, I digress. The running is going well. I am toying with the notion of running after work during the week. The morning thing is, well, shaky at best. We shall see. The long runs are progressing nicely. I logged a 1:15 run (about 7 miles) this past Saturday, and truly enjoyed it. It is crucial for me now, just as much as it will be on the day of the half marathon, to remember that this is fun. Just as it is easy to forget that I am a runner, it is equally as easy to forget that this was, is, and will continue to be fun for me. Losing that feeling would be to lose my soul, my driving force on this journey. Yes, I said it. Running is fun... and amazing, and beautiful, and challenging, and the best thing that has ever happened to me outside of my lively wife. Life, my friends, is not all bad.
Be well.
Garbage in, garbage out, indeed. I now know why I have felt like such crap for so long. I may have been running, I may have "said" I was watching what I ate. But ultimately, I was too busy making excuses to justify my bad choices to really see what I was doing - i.e. giving myself an out to go back to the way I was over 100 lbs ago.
Strange...
But nevertheless, I digress. The running is going well. I am toying with the notion of running after work during the week. The morning thing is, well, shaky at best. We shall see. The long runs are progressing nicely. I logged a 1:15 run (about 7 miles) this past Saturday, and truly enjoyed it. It is crucial for me now, just as much as it will be on the day of the half marathon, to remember that this is fun. Just as it is easy to forget that I am a runner, it is equally as easy to forget that this was, is, and will continue to be fun for me. Losing that feeling would be to lose my soul, my driving force on this journey. Yes, I said it. Running is fun... and amazing, and beautiful, and challenging, and the best thing that has ever happened to me outside of my lively wife. Life, my friends, is not all bad.
Be well.
26 July 2008
Progress Report: July 26, 2008
Obviously, in case you have not noticed already, the tone of my posts is generally much improved after a run...
Week 2 of the official half marathon training plan is in the books and, I have to say, I am feeling alright. Granted, I have not done anything to date that I have not done at some point before. Although the intervals and tempo run were a bit shocking to the system. I feel good, mentally and physically. And right now, both are crucial.
I have recently learned something with regard to my wanting to find ways to give up... Brick walls, whether self-imposed or otherwise, are meant to show us that which we really desire. That is, if we want something bad enough, we will work through anything to make it happen. By the time this whole mini-journey of mine is done, I will have run a half marathon. I am sure, at a few points throughout the run, I will want to quit, mentally or physically, or all around. But this is something I want to acheive so much for myself. To see if I can do it. To take that next step in my life.
Where that next step leads is anyone's guess.
Feel free to check out my online Fit Day journay to make sure I am eating right and getting in my exercise. The weight is slowly rectifying itself. While weight loss is not THE goal in training for this half marathon, running at a lighter weight seems VERY appealing to me.
Be well, friends.
Week 2 of the official half marathon training plan is in the books and, I have to say, I am feeling alright. Granted, I have not done anything to date that I have not done at some point before. Although the intervals and tempo run were a bit shocking to the system. I feel good, mentally and physically. And right now, both are crucial.
I have recently learned something with regard to my wanting to find ways to give up... Brick walls, whether self-imposed or otherwise, are meant to show us that which we really desire. That is, if we want something bad enough, we will work through anything to make it happen. By the time this whole mini-journey of mine is done, I will have run a half marathon. I am sure, at a few points throughout the run, I will want to quit, mentally or physically, or all around. But this is something I want to acheive so much for myself. To see if I can do it. To take that next step in my life.
Where that next step leads is anyone's guess.
Feel free to check out my online Fit Day journay to make sure I am eating right and getting in my exercise. The weight is slowly rectifying itself. While weight loss is not THE goal in training for this half marathon, running at a lighter weight seems VERY appealing to me.
Be well, friends.
22 July 2008
Progress Report: July 22, 2008
Well, things are definitely progressing. I am into the early stages of my Half Marathon training plan and seem to be moving along just fine. This morning, despite my best efforts to avoid it, I had my first taste of intervals and really enjoyed it. Thursday will be my first shot at a tempo run followed by Saturday's long slow jaunt.
Slowly but surely, I am getting to feel dialed in on all levels. I am [again, slowly] regaining my form with regard to my eating. This is nothing short of a miracle. Four week ago, I was down to 226 lbs. Two days ago, I was 238 lbs. Perhaps I was just retaining some water...
*sigh*
I know this is a process. However it never ceases to amaze me at just how easy it has been for me, historically, to add weight. It is painfully upsetting at times, when I really think about it. But ultimately I am the one in control of my self-care plan and my decision making processes. I have done the bad. Now it is time to continue my form in doing the good.
This Half Marathon in October is about a lot of things for me. People will often ask me why I run. Sometimes I will give the company line that I love the way it makes me feel and the freedom of mind and body it offers when I am on the roads. Really though, as I am still fighting my demons, I am still running away from things just as much as I am running towards a goal or event. Perhaps this will change as time goes on and I continue to learn about myself. Perhaps not.
I am just happy I can run at all.
Slowly but surely, I am getting to feel dialed in on all levels. I am [again, slowly] regaining my form with regard to my eating. This is nothing short of a miracle. Four week ago, I was down to 226 lbs. Two days ago, I was 238 lbs. Perhaps I was just retaining some water...
*sigh*
I know this is a process. However it never ceases to amaze me at just how easy it has been for me, historically, to add weight. It is painfully upsetting at times, when I really think about it. But ultimately I am the one in control of my self-care plan and my decision making processes. I have done the bad. Now it is time to continue my form in doing the good.
This Half Marathon in October is about a lot of things for me. People will often ask me why I run. Sometimes I will give the company line that I love the way it makes me feel and the freedom of mind and body it offers when I am on the roads. Really though, as I am still fighting my demons, I am still running away from things just as much as I am running towards a goal or event. Perhaps this will change as time goes on and I continue to learn about myself. Perhaps not.
I am just happy I can run at all.
09 July 2008
On Monday, it al begins...
Starting this coming Monday, July 14, 2008, I will start training for something I truly felt I would never attempt - a Half Marathon. Specifically, the Spinx RunFest Half Marathon, scheduled for October 25th. This is yet another reminder to me of how far I have come and where I have yet to venture. I will learn a great deal about myself over the next few months. I will post regular weekly updates on this Blog as to my progress. Stay tuned...
23 June 2008
Where Have I Been?
Oh the more things change, the more they stay the same. As I sit here typing, sore still from the Candlelight Run 5K this past Saturday, I am still grinning some. Something so simple as a run like that, a run for which I did not train and, admittedly was carrying around "some" extra weight. Needless to say, I am proud of myself not for running the race at all, but for accepting the challenge I put down.
I truly wanted to run as hard as I could, just to see what I had in the tank. Those of you who know me and swing by this Blog often know I have been battling a nasty hamstring injury for some time to the point that, combined with some serious lack of motivation, I think I ran all of TWICE in the two weeks leading up to this race. If nothing else, the hamstring was well rested. But I sit here proud and with some semblance of a focused re-dedication.
If anyone knows that this journey, this self-care plan is not an overnight thing, it should be me. I cannot lie... Sometimes I forget that. Nevertheless, back in the saddle I sit. Re-energized by the act of running - placing one foot in front of the other in a repeated fashion. So simple yet so vital in so many ways.
I ran for about 40 minutes tonight. It probably should have been more of a 30-35 minute run, but I would not be me if I did not push it a little bit. I will take this slow for the next few weeks, running 3 times per week. Praying things hold form, I may add one more short run but I will not run more than 4 days per week in getting ready for the half marathon in October. For me, that just may be overkill. We shall see.
But for now, I am going back to grinning.
Be well.
I truly wanted to run as hard as I could, just to see what I had in the tank. Those of you who know me and swing by this Blog often know I have been battling a nasty hamstring injury for some time to the point that, combined with some serious lack of motivation, I think I ran all of TWICE in the two weeks leading up to this race. If nothing else, the hamstring was well rested. But I sit here proud and with some semblance of a focused re-dedication.
If anyone knows that this journey, this self-care plan is not an overnight thing, it should be me. I cannot lie... Sometimes I forget that. Nevertheless, back in the saddle I sit. Re-energized by the act of running - placing one foot in front of the other in a repeated fashion. So simple yet so vital in so many ways.
I ran for about 40 minutes tonight. It probably should have been more of a 30-35 minute run, but I would not be me if I did not push it a little bit. I will take this slow for the next few weeks, running 3 times per week. Praying things hold form, I may add one more short run but I will not run more than 4 days per week in getting ready for the half marathon in October. For me, that just may be overkill. We shall see.
But for now, I am going back to grinning.
Be well.
01 June 2008
Progress Report: June 1, 2008
Well, I did it again... Seemingly on a whim, I registered for the Sunrise 8K run for June 14th in Simpsonville. It should be fun and I am really looking forward to it. I know I have not posted for a while - things have been crazy. That said, I am sitting firm at 236.2 right now - and I am somewhat okay with that, considering all that has happened over the past several months. I am back in weight loss meetings, which will certainly help as far as accountability is concerned. And for me, it is all about the accountability. Is it ever.
Be well.
Be well.
22 May 2008
Well, now I went and did it!
In what appears to have been a fit of idiocy, I registered yesterday for the 2008 Spinx Runfest Half Marathon. It will be held on Saturday, October 25th. Of course, I am exagerrating a bit on the "idiocy" part. Suffice to say, there is a lot of work to be done between now and then.
My food consumption of late has been of questionable quality and thanks to this nagging right hamstring injury, I have not really been able to run as consistently as I would like. Right now, it is more along the lines of 3-4 days per week.
Ultimately, the goal right now is to get to July pain-free and with some kind of consistent mileage base (15 miles, perhaps) before really ramping up the training. I am leaning towards time-based training as compared to mileage-based. I think it will be easier for me to track and, let's face it, with my Type A personality, simplifying things may not be such a bad idea.
So, that's it. I am all registered and ready to go. I feel somewhat confident in being able to finish, but it will be getting to the starting line healthy which will prove to be the first mahor obstacle.
I will continue to post updates on a weekly basis as my way of "checking in". Feel free to post you comments along the way.
Be well!
My food consumption of late has been of questionable quality and thanks to this nagging right hamstring injury, I have not really been able to run as consistently as I would like. Right now, it is more along the lines of 3-4 days per week.
Ultimately, the goal right now is to get to July pain-free and with some kind of consistent mileage base (15 miles, perhaps) before really ramping up the training. I am leaning towards time-based training as compared to mileage-based. I think it will be easier for me to track and, let's face it, with my Type A personality, simplifying things may not be such a bad idea.
So, that's it. I am all registered and ready to go. I feel somewhat confident in being able to finish, but it will be getting to the starting line healthy which will prove to be the first mahor obstacle.
I will continue to post updates on a weekly basis as my way of "checking in". Feel free to post you comments along the way.
Be well!
12 May 2008
Recap: 7th Annual Safe Harbor Run
In honor of Mother's Day, Safe Harbor held their 7th Annual Harbor Run (on Saturday, May 10, 2008). The 8k run started and finished at Fluor Field, the home of the Greenville Drive. The route included downtown Greenville and Cleveland Park. Vicky Echeverria was the overall female winner while Orinthal Striggles took the top honors for the men followed by Tim Briles (top picture). Safe Harbor states the run is "The Upstates Race Against Domestic Violence".
The race director, Sheila McCullough (bottom picture), owner of Fleet Feet Sports in Greenville, spent countless hours coordinating with her staff and a dedicated group of volunteers to make this event fantastic for everyone involved. The course route, slightly adjusted from years past, offered a great balance of rolling hills and scenic views of downtown Greenville on this beautiful Saturday morning. Many thanks go out to all who were involved including all of the sponsors, volunteers, participants, and spectators.
Note: Portions this post (italicized) and photographs were taken from The Greenville News and full credit is given to the paper and its staff.
Progress Report: May 12, 2008
Slow and steady wins the race, so they say... I have been repeating that sentiment over and over again lately. I am down a little more to 232.2, so the progress is still there. I could not be happier. I know that the key is making better decisions more often than not. Easier said than done. But it really is true. In times like this when it is all about trying to be as consistent as possible, the minor victories turn into major ones.
I could not be happier with the snail's pace I am on...
Be well.
I could not be happier with the snail's pace I am on...
Be well.
29 April 2008
Progress Report: April 29, 2008
I figured it had been long enough since I have last visited the scale. Down slightly to 235.2. I am thrilled with that. Sure, it is a slow process - as it should be. This is for all intent and purposes a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have not been able to run very much within the past couple of weeks thanks to this nagging hamstring injury and I do not think I will for at least another week or two. So it is resistance training and stationary biking for me.
No date-specific deadlines for me. No high-end rewards waiting for me at the end (at this point). Right now it is all about simply doing what I know needs to be done. Period.
If only it were always that simple.
Be well.
I have not been able to run very much within the past couple of weeks thanks to this nagging hamstring injury and I do not think I will for at least another week or two. So it is resistance training and stationary biking for me.
No date-specific deadlines for me. No high-end rewards waiting for me at the end (at this point). Right now it is all about simply doing what I know needs to be done. Period.
If only it were always that simple.
Be well.
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About Me
- Dan
- NJ, United States
- A former 355-pound man, Dan has continued his journey, complete with ups and downs, and has begun to devote his life to helping others through their journeys.
