Yet another thought...

It is something of a foreign concept to many, myself included. I have read that the human body, by its very nature, seeks to do as little as possible – rather seeking to work as little as possible – in an effort to maintain its existence. All one need to do is look around and see that is the lifestyle being readily chosen by many of our brothers and sisters. Maybe it is my self-deprecating nature, but I tend to believe the opposite to be true. Rather our bodies, in and of their very selves, want to be healthy, efficient beings. However my poor decisions and destructive lifestyle has prevented me from allowing my body to be that which it is innately intended to be.

There is no secret that I have been entirely incredulous when it comes to my own well-being. I am not sure if it is nature or nurture or a little of both or something in between. My painfully debilitating habits of eating and drinking to excess of been my collective Achilles heel for as long as I can remember. There is safety in them both, sadly. They are comforting and, generally, do not put up much of a fight when asked to do the job. They medicate, in a feeble effort to mask the pain I wish never existed in the first place. It was almost as if somehow my life of excess enabled me to forget all that I was and amplified all I had wanted to become.

Hardly.

The excesses of my prior life have only gone to “pile on”, as it were. Instead of comforting and soothing all that is painful in my life, it has only gone to put my body in an even worse predicament. How my body tolerated my drinking and eating, I have no idea. There were some times, God as my witness, I felt as if my body was about to rebel in the most Biblical of ways.

This was not so much of a difficult realization to have. Not at all. It, to me, is all about common sense. I cannot envision a life without running. It really has become a part of the fiber of my very being for the past two years-plus. There have been times, however, that my addictions to food and drink have secretly – or not – attempted to railroad my efforts at a healthier lifestyle. Once I had realized that my body wanted nothing exemplary or revolutionary, it suddenly became easy. My body wants nothing more than to do what it does, efficiently. I cannot expect to run while drinking like a fish and eating as if I will never see food again.

Again, not revolutionary things, but the drugs of my life of excess have some form of blinding powers as well, apparently.

There may be other, more astounding revelations to be had, somewhere along the line. I hope so. Ideas like this, and I feel I am insulting the notion by calling it an “idea”, is nothing short of life-changing. I am not through with re-examining my relationship with food and drink. Not by a long shot. But that first realization is that initial step. I have been waiting for that first step for a long time.