So often, we are stricken with guilt over what could have been, what ought to have been, and what should be. We are quick to form these grand plans in our minds about where we see ourselves personally, professionally, and with regard to our self care. Many will say there is always tomorrow. I disagree. Tomorrow's successes are the direct result of not your words, but rather your actions today.
The time is coming for resolutions to be made and broken. Remade and re-broken. It is easy given how unproven and shaky in support as our surroundings can be at times. Companies make billions of dollars off folks like us who, as soon as we take that first step towards self care, they know we are destined for failure and several subsequent attempts to make good on the age old promise to ourselves to just "be better."
January 1st is right around the corner. What positive changes have you already made in your life that have put you on the road to better self care in 2009? Do not put off until tomorrow that which you can accomplish today. If the changes you want to implement are genuine in nature, and if you are completely behind them with every ounce of your very being, there is no reason to get a head start on the rest of the human race.
Do something good for yourself now. Do it now. Do it today. Get a head start on the new year and the rest of your life.
28 December 2008
17 December 2008
The Decision Has Been Made
Well, the time has come to stop fretting about this thing. After much thought, discussion with my wife who is my absolute rock of support, and folks who either have the Marine Corps Marathon ("MCM") on their Marathon Bucket List or have done it already, this is the race for me. The organization, the crowd support, the pride, the course (serious hills in the first 8 miles, by the way), and the location just seem to make this a good choice for me.
How often can we run right next to the Washington Monument or the White House or the Pentagon with closed streets? Neither my dad nor my uncles were in the Marines but, you know, I think I am able to look past that... Rather, I will be proud to have a member of our armed forces place that finisher's medal around my neck when I cross the finish line.
Some have told me that my first marathon will be like another prior first in my life... full of sound and fury signifying nothing (i.e. will not live up to the hype). I disagree. Being a part of the MCM is something that, really, I am not sure how it could not inspire me more.
I am looking forward to registration, training, and getting there. I truly feel at peace with this. Now, the fun part... Training.
Be well.
14 December 2008
Why do we want that which we do not have?
I have seen it for years... People seemingly with everything compared to my presumably nothing. Someone else is skinner, did it easier, did not struggle as much as I did, or fail as much as I failed. Surely they must also be happier than me as a result of that. Maybe. Maybe not.
Obviously though, the grass is not always greener. Ease in one's pursuit should not imply happiness. If I have said it once, I have said it too many times... A large part of the reward is in the toil and effort put into your journey.
Yet why still am I almost always intrigued by those who take a different path on their journey (i.e. an easier path or, better, one of less resistance)?
My prior life (and, I would argue, partial current life) of self-deprecation, self-abuse, self-neglect - perhaps better, ignorance - has made me into the person I am today, for better or for worse is up for discussion. But the desire for the easy way out, which referring to it that way is perhaps presumptuous on my part, is nothing more than to short change myself on that which will truly right the wrongs of my past work. To not struggle, to not put forth all of the effort I have to make myself right or, perhaps a better word is "better", through self-care really is to eliminate perhaps the biggest prize of them all - knowing that it was earned and not given, achieved by effort, and the understanding of all that went into it.
Perhaps I am making excuses for the willful desire to torture myself with this long, drawn out process. Just perhaps. But I still believe there is something more there to be had. What I have is truly mine. Granted, I am not to where I want to be just yet. Yet I think as time goes on I will be less attracted to the shiny, packaged alternative of an easier way compared to the lessons I have learned/am learning. My appreciation and respect for this process, for my own self-care, to understand the effort that went in to get me to where I am now and where I want to be down the road, will only go to further strengthen my resolve to ensure that I will never be that way again.
Obviously though, the grass is not always greener. Ease in one's pursuit should not imply happiness. If I have said it once, I have said it too many times... A large part of the reward is in the toil and effort put into your journey.
Yet why still am I almost always intrigued by those who take a different path on their journey (i.e. an easier path or, better, one of less resistance)?
My prior life (and, I would argue, partial current life) of self-deprecation, self-abuse, self-neglect - perhaps better, ignorance - has made me into the person I am today, for better or for worse is up for discussion. But the desire for the easy way out, which referring to it that way is perhaps presumptuous on my part, is nothing more than to short change myself on that which will truly right the wrongs of my past work. To not struggle, to not put forth all of the effort I have to make myself right or, perhaps a better word is "better", through self-care really is to eliminate perhaps the biggest prize of them all - knowing that it was earned and not given, achieved by effort, and the understanding of all that went into it.
Perhaps I am making excuses for the willful desire to torture myself with this long, drawn out process. Just perhaps. But I still believe there is something more there to be had. What I have is truly mine. Granted, I am not to where I want to be just yet. Yet I think as time goes on I will be less attracted to the shiny, packaged alternative of an easier way compared to the lessons I have learned/am learning. My appreciation and respect for this process, for my own self-care, to understand the effort that went in to get me to where I am now and where I want to be down the road, will only go to further strengthen my resolve to ensure that I will never be that way again.
10 December 2008
Progress Report [of sorts]: 10 December 2008
Well, what's to report, really...
I have not run in a little over a week due to the simple fact that my running has felt, for lack of a better word, horrendous. The contorted way in which my stride has evolved moves me to tears with every single step. So, something had to be done. Hovering around the 240-ish mark makes me even more weepy, really.
Thanks to the help of a good friend who just so happens to be a phenomenal physical therapist, I am on a path to getting back out on the roads. Lots of stretching and strengthening of the lower back, continued work on the core muscles, and a prescription for custom orthotics are in order. That and, of course, losing the remaining weight on my frame. That kind of goes without saying though.
So, it will be a couple of weeks without my believed running shoes. No long slow runs, no tempos, no intervals. None of it. I find it hard right now to even read about running even though I have some books to sift through in an attempt to formulate a marathon training plan.
Ahh yes... The marathon issue. I am aiming for the Kiawah Island Marathon in December of 2009. My thought process, flawed as it may be, includes reducing my weight [somewhat], getting back on the road, and building a solid base of 20-ish miles per week between now and the start of May. Then, it is all about training for 26.2. TWENTY-SIX point TWO.
I must be insane.
I have not run in a little over a week due to the simple fact that my running has felt, for lack of a better word, horrendous. The contorted way in which my stride has evolved moves me to tears with every single step. So, something had to be done. Hovering around the 240-ish mark makes me even more weepy, really.
Thanks to the help of a good friend who just so happens to be a phenomenal physical therapist, I am on a path to getting back out on the roads. Lots of stretching and strengthening of the lower back, continued work on the core muscles, and a prescription for custom orthotics are in order. That and, of course, losing the remaining weight on my frame. That kind of goes without saying though.
So, it will be a couple of weeks without my believed running shoes. No long slow runs, no tempos, no intervals. None of it. I find it hard right now to even read about running even though I have some books to sift through in an attempt to formulate a marathon training plan.
Ahh yes... The marathon issue. I am aiming for the Kiawah Island Marathon in December of 2009. My thought process, flawed as it may be, includes reducing my weight [somewhat], getting back on the road, and building a solid base of 20-ish miles per week between now and the start of May. Then, it is all about training for 26.2. TWENTY-SIX point TWO.
I must be insane.
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About Me
- Dan
- NJ, United States
- A former 355-pound man, Dan has continued his journey, complete with ups and downs, and has begun to devote his life to helping others through their journeys.
